This past week i made a major boo-boo at work and 1 of my bosses was PO'D! I felt so bad, embarrassed and stupid for making the mistake and I apologized vowing it wouldn't happen again, and offered to try to correct the situation. Well, of course I got the "I KNOW U ARE SORRY, BUT...blah, blah, blah..blah, blah"! I felt like "GEEZE, I said I was sorry, it wouldn't happen again, so why continually chastise me as if i am a little child, MOVE ON ALREADY, LET"S FORGET THIS HAPPENED AND START FRESH"! I honestly felt like just walking up and giving my notice because of the JUDGEMENT and the GUILT that I felt for disappointing someone that I had respected, I was ready to GIVE UP and QUIT instead of dealing with the anger, and disapproval of my boss, plus the added knowledge that it will NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. Then I had a moment of clarity and thought, "WOW, this is what the cheating spouse must feel like after D-DAY"! It is so much easier to walk away and not face the wrath, not deal with someone who will NEVER let them forget, who will be chastised over and over again even after trying to make amends. I am in no way saying the feelings of my work situation are EXACTLY the same between a WS and a BS but I did for a glimmer of time understand why a WS would rather leave than to deal with the BS whom they know they have disappointed and it hurts to know that the WS was the cause of it all. Just thought i would share my epiphany. I hate how I got it, but i am so grateful that i FINALLY GET IT and I UNDERSTAND IT!

Very insightful. Thanks for sharing. And I'm sorry about what you had to go through to get it. (((((trying2_4give)))))<P>------------------<BR>"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:7

I also thought, quite insightful. the question is, how to you get them to face the truth. Tell them it is okay you had an affair.<P>Hopelessmom

Hopelessmom, I don't think it is our job to GET THEM TO FACE THE TRUTH, we can't control what anyone does or how they respond or even how SOON they respond to it. I think that is where they say PLAN A is to work on ourselves. I think it is true to voice that the situation is not acceptable in your life. But NOT to keep punishing the BS if they are showing true remorse and want to change their behavior. It wouldn't be realistic not to be angry, hurt and resentful of the BS but there comes a time when u will realize that to keep it going for years is damaging your own mental health and well being. Someday u will see, that u either have to let the BS go or push the anger to the side to find that happy person inside yourself again.

trying - thanks for sharing your insight. I'm waiting for the day when I can offer compassion to an open mind instead of a lost lamb.<P>WAT