Here is my story for anyone who wants to read it and has some advice.<P>I have been married for 6 1/2 years and we lived together for 2 1/2 years before we got married. My H is a wonderful man. He is funny, kind and great in bed. We had a wonderful relationship. We traveled (just the two of us)and had great time together. He used to tell me on countless occasions how he loved coming home to his me. We bought a new home about 2 years ago. We have wonderful neighbors that have become really good friends of ours. Both of our parents are still together and everyone gets along great. <P>I noticed in Oct. of last year that my H was going out a lot more than usual. He would normally hang out with the fellas once every couple of months. In Oct., Nov. and Dec. it was about 3 times a month. Still not excessive. He said there was just a lot going on like old fraternity bothers coming into town and birthdays, bachelor parties.....We went on vacation in Dec. and had a wonderful time. In mid Jan. he went out and stayed out later that usual. We talked the next day and that is when he dropped the bombshell that he is not sure he wants to be married anymore. Out of no where! He stayed at home for about a month. During this time we did not talk about his feelings. I was afraid to bring it up and was just wishing it would go away and he was withdrawing further and further. On Feb. 24th he moved out. He said he needed time to think on his own. That was about 8 weeks ago. In the mean time we went to 2 counseling sessions and have been intimate 3 times. He calls me at least twice a week and just chats like everything is okay. We have had some heart to heart talks and he said he starting withdrawing from the marriage some time after his 35th birthday (Sept. 00) He said his life is not where he thought it would be. He thought he would have children by now. I have always wanted children but I have put it off for many years. He said that this really hurt him and along with little things he just started withdrawing. Now he has moved into his own apartment. He now says he is sure he does not want to be married or in any kind of a relationship. He only wants to be responsible for himself and does'nt even want children anymore. He does tell me and everyone else we know that he still loves me. Of course, I have been depressed. I cry all the time. I love him so much it hurts. What happened? I have begged him to give us a second chance, but he says he does'nt even want to try. How to I save my marriage. I know that I am not going to beg anymore. The several times we have talked it has been these intense pressure sessions on why he should come home. My approach now is to just be calm when I talk to him and not bring up coming home or divorce. I figure if he wants a divorce then he is going to have to be man enough to say and it do all the leg work and pay for it. He is supposed to be coming by tonight. I don't know what for, he did'nt say. I am very nervous. What if he bring up the D word? How do I react to my whole world falling down around me. I don't know if it is an early mid life crisis or another woman, or both! I don't know what to do. I even turned to a marriage devotional bible for God's word on marriage and he still did'nt budge. <P>I don't know if anyone can help me or us. How do I save my marriage????<P>Maybe some of you have been through something similar and can give me some advice on how to break through to my H.<P>Thanks

Have you read any of the material on this site? There are some helpful articles if you click on the home button. You can survive this, even if he does talk about divorce, etc. <P>On the Just Found Out board there is a bunch of helpful reading and recommeded books, etc. Posting here is a big help, as well as counseling with Steve or Jennifer Harley.<P>I hope this helps, somewhat. You and your husband are in my prayers. <p>[This message has been edited by Raskal (edited April 24, 2001).]

Hi, and I'm so sorry you have to be here with us...<P>I'd like to share a link with you, and please click on it and read it first:<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome Message</A><P>Unfortunately, your story is all-too-common...<P>There is so much going on in your situation -- possible mid-life crisis, no children, and I hate to say it, but the possibility that there is someone else in the picture (so often when someone wants "space" it's to think about another person - and I hope I am wrong!).<P>Read everything you can get your hands on, post lots, and visit some other forums...<P>You are not alone.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck