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WS mad at me because I caught him?
#910326 04/24/01 08:21 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 12
West Nyack, NY USA
G
genevieve
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genevieve
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G Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 12
West Nyack, NY USA
Ever feel WS is mad at you because you caught them and they had to give up OP?<BR>H and I have been in recovery 9 months, yesterday I caught him red-handed emailing OW. I was calm as I could be (trying not to LB too much), he got angry and defensive and said he was unhappy, missed her too much and was going to meet her. Needed space to sort things out. ugh!!! Weird thing for me was how angry he seemed at me. As if I was getting in the way of what he wanted to do. He later called and was contrite, said he realized it was a mistake and wasn't going to meet her after all. He's still gone tho (on business), and still seems angry at me. I'm trying to chalk this up to fog, and not let it get to me, but this is turning into a big LBster for me.<BR>gen
Re: WS mad at me because I caught him?
#910327 04/25/01 07:54 AM
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
No. Va.
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worthatry Offline
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worthatry
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Posts: 10,060
No. Va.
gennie - every time I confronted my wife with evidence of her affair, she went ballistic! I think this is common because the BS is threatening their new perfect world.<P>WAT
Re: WS mad at me because I caught him?
#910328 04/25/01 08:21 AM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 69
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Clarity? Offline
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Clarity?
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I think a lot of WSs demonize their spouses too, to justify their behavior. Maybe he gets mad at you because he knows what he is doing is wrong, but rather than making his behavior the issue, he makes an issue out of yours. He takes your "catching" him to be evidence of you being unreasonable or hostile or prying, and gets mad at you to cover up his own guilt. WSs really do live in a shroud of bad logic.<P>Plus, he might take your knowledge of his indiscretions as some sort of accusation and that makes him defensive. Hmm. I've used a lot of words to make a simple point: he probably feels guilty for what he did chooses to be mad at you instead of himself.

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