I recently discovered my H has been chatting online with a number of women as well as talking on the phone with them for a number of months. These are local people so it certainly is a possibility he has met these OW. They have been having cybersex, probably phone sex too. I do not know if anything has happened IRL. H denies anything happening IRL. He has also been accessing online porn, like webcam sites and photos and chatting at porn sites too.<P>I can't describe what I am feeling other than to say I feel betrayed and very angry with him. We have young children and have been married for 12 years. I feel as if our whole family has been betrayed. He's been doing this at night while the rest of us have been sleeping with the excuse that he is up late working. I've been taking on a lot of extra work around the house because of his "workload". He's been doing it at work too. <P>Our marriage has hit rock bottom. Lately, he has been verbally and physically abusive and I can't stand being with him anymore. I'm ready to have him arrested, pack up my kids and I and leave. I have no reason to stay.<P>Anyway, he has found out that nothing you do online is private. I watched him delete everything from his secret e-mail and chat accounts. He promised to change. I don't believe him. I didn't rant and rave about it. I just stated that he can expect to lose me and the kids if he continues with the cheating and the abuse. He won't go to couselling.<P>Does anyone have some words of wisdom for me? I just don't have much hope for my marriage. Thanks.

Welcome <B>Bluebird</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>You are early on in this problem (H's addiction)...<P>Without <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busting</A> (not a good thing)...<BR>...continue to be honest in the pain/hurt he is causing you.<BR>Counseling is important... very important...<P>Some sites (outside of MB) that may be helpful...<BR><B>Dangers of Online Relationships</B><BR><A HREF="http://www.wildxangel.com/" TARGET=_blank>What They're Not Telling You - Or How to Read Between the Lies!!</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.chatcheaters.com" TARGET=_blank>Internet Infidelity Prevention, Detection, Advice and Books</A><BR><A HREF="http://netaddiction.com/" TARGET=_blank>Center for On-Line Addiction</A><BR><A HREF="http://temagami.uwaterloo.ca/~petz/affair.html" TARGET=_blank>Affairs of the Internet</A><BR>and...<BR><B>Sexual Addiction</B><BR><A HREF="http://www.sa.org/b000english/b020problem.html" TARGET=_blank>Sexaholics Anonymous</A><P>Now for the hard part... for you...<BR>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>You are not alone...<BR>...by any measure!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>