this is a nasty website. All of these OW are trying to justify their affairs with married men? <BR>that is crazy.<P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

I just went to that site and it is pretty "disgusting". They basicly think what they are doing is right. Why don't we all of us from Marriage Builders post a reply in there telling them to come to the MB site and maybe they can come to see what's this site is all about and come back to reality. Just a suggestion.

i would really rather not have any of them come to MB site. I love the support i get here from people that know how hurtful it is when a loved one cheats on you. I dont want a bunch of people here that think it is right.<P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Sorry BioMan, didn't mean to make it sound like I wanted to bring them over here for that. I just thought that maybe if they got an earful from some of the people here on MB that they would think twice about what is right and what is wrong. Sounds like they need people that have sense to talk to them. But I guess it may not be a good idea...one bad apple spoils them all. I guess when they come out of there "fog" and realize what they are doing and who they are hurting they will have a different outlook on things. Again, I am sorry for thinking that. I really didn't think about them coming over here and ruining marriage builders. I don't want that at all. This is such a great place to come and read what is going on with others and get advice from the posts.

That site is totally beneath our notice. I'm the WS in our situation, and it will never cease to amaze me that people leave people who love them for OPs who are so shameless and proud of themselves. Maybe it would do some fog-bound WSs good to read what their OPs are like behind closed doors.<P>There is NO point in anyone from this site trying to talk or argue sense into any of those people. Such an effort could only end in ridicule and suffering for the BS and further self-congratulation for the OPs. Save your care for people who are worth it.

That place is a hornet's nest. Don't even think about steering them here. That's been done before and it took a while to get rid of them. They won't come here for any other purpose than trolling and stirring up a mess.

I realize that now. That is why I said never mind because they are beyond help right now. It's not worth wasting our time talking to them. If they need help one day they will come to the right place. But as for now they can stay where they are. I didn't think about what they could do to this sit 'til bioman made his statement. That's a site that needs help in it's self.

No you're wrong. I have read that site many times. If you read long enough that you will see many of the woman there encouraging each other to get out of the bad relationships they've gotten into. You may not approve but they also need a support group. They need someone to encourage them not to call, to stay strong, that the MM isn't going to leave his W for them and live happily ever after for them. For many they find themselves in a situation (yes they may have put themselves there) where they don't have anyone to talk to, they find that because of some man they've lost their friends and/or family.<P>There are also many wives that go there and post regularly trying to understand why their husband would do such a terrible thing. If they post calmly they are answered calmly. <P>It may not be for everybody. Yes you will get some women and men that are currently involved in a inappropriate relationship but if you are far enough along in the healing process it is probably a good place to go for understanding about what makes a person do something so terrible as this.

ImSoSorry...if they need a "good" support group then they can find there way to MB. I think MB is alot better then gloryb.com. I'm not going to sit here and argue about it either. I just think that Marriage Builders is alot better place to come because there are alot of people on here that have been in the "fog", have came out of it and realize what they have done wrong. Again, I'm not going to sit here and argue about some site that isn't worth arguing about.

I'm not argueing with you about this. I think marriage builders is an excellant site, that's why I'm here IF you are trying to save a marriage. What if you don't have a marriage to save then where do you go?

OK everyone....<BR>Peace and Love...peace and love LOL<BR> <P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

If people have marriage's that can't be saved they can still come here for moral support. Just to come here and get things off there chest. If they have a marriage that has been saved they still come here to support the others that are having a hard time in there marriage. And if they have a marriage that there may be a possibility of saving they come here for help in trying to fix it. Marriage Builders is a mixture of everything I believe. And whatever it is Marriage Builders has alot of answers for a lot of things. i'm not saying that it's always right. I am just saying that this is such a big message board site that there is bound to be something in here similar to someone else's story.

Okay bioman, Peace and Love <P>Where would you tell a single person to go? What if he/she thought that somebody was divorced, fell in love, put all their hopes and dreams in that person to the neglect of their family and friends only to find out later that the OP was married and had lied. Now they are in a bad situation trying to get out. Should they still come here?<P>This is purely hypothetical, of course. I'm just playing devil's advocate.

Yes, I would tell them to come here. I have read plenty of posts where it was the OP. They can get "suggestions" on how to handle the situation beings that they did not know that the other person was married. And to answer another question that might pop up in your mind. "What if the OP knew that he was married but still had an EA and PA, could they still come here?" Yes, they can still come here. They can get a good idea of what they are doing to the person they are having an affair with's wife/husband. They can get "opinions", read and see that they need to end the relationship and let the two people work on there marriage.

okay, thanks for answering, I appreciate it.

ImSoSorry and Bioman,<P>There have been the occaissional single OW or OM that have come here to try and get support. I would rather have a remorsmeful distraught person come here and get good advice about building a real relationship with an unmarried person than go to a site that is designed to help OW continue their relationship with MM. <BR>As Heartpain staed there was a time when some of them were coming here. They did nothing but try and stir things up. Posting stuff about how deluded the FS is when we believe in our spouses. Check out the pregnancy and child forum from the last couple of weeks if you want a taste of what some of these women are like.<BR>I may be coming off sounding judgemental and really that is not my intent - I just don't think it is a good idea for people who chose to post at that forum to come here. We certainly won't support them in their choice to continue a relationship with a MM (which is what most of them seem to be doing).<P>Anyway, that's just my 2 cents worth (or since I am in Canada I guess it would be 1.25 cents worth - or something like that I think (who knows what the Canadian dollar is worth these days???))<P>Another q would be what if it were the OW of somebody here. The OW from my H's affair posted here for a while and it made me very uncomfortable - I just didn't feel safe at all.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole <p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited April 27, 2001).]

Nicki,<P>It's worth 60 cents... I know <P>Okay, about the site. Yeah, I checked it out about a year ago, because someone else had written about it here... and lo and behold, they were laughing about THIS site... Oh well...<P>Everyone is welcome here, if their intentions are good...<P>Over the last two months there have been three women that I know of who have come on to harrass certain women... they identified themselves as OW or as "someone who knows" secret things about people here... Those kinds of people are NOT welcome here!<P>I personally hate that site, even though I *should* understand because I was an OW once... NOPE!! They make those of us who are remorseful and repentent have to work that much harder to convince our spouses, friends, and cyber-pals here that we are serious.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

Hi there,<P> When I first read on that site I went bezerk but you know, the more you read the more you see the same old story.<P>Most of these OWs are waiting and hoping and praying the MMan leaves their wife and they never seem to . They are a very miserable lot and some of them are "waiting" for six years.....it makes you realize that there are consequences for bad behaviorand life on the "other side" is not so wonderful.<P>I always get a kick out of when the OWs counsel another OW about the "lying, cheating Married man" (they on the other hand have given the married man "everything").......some screwed up thinking! LU