Darlene, <P>Just got to work and wanted to check on you and see how your day went! Hope that you sttayed busy! I did, went to a D.A.R.E.fest with my 10 yrs old and got a sunburnt face, ouch!<P>How old is your daughter? is she your only child? What have you told your family about your situation? I've talked with my parents, and they will support me either way, it's still what I want, just like 20 years ago when I married at age 18!! Maybe I should've listened to them when they were telling me NO, I don't think I would change a thing til the last year or so if I could go back, and that would be to look and see what signs were there that this mess was coming, I am sure that there were signs that I missed, either didn't seem or didn't wasnt to am not sure. My biggest thing is if I stay and get the marriage back together, I don't want my family looking down or thinking bad thoughts or less of my H, as they have always treated him so well, as if he was their 3rd child. My little brother was ready to bash my husband, which made me feel great as he never really had to stick up for me before. I was the first one that he came to when his wife kicked him out, so he has been through this, and has offered emotional and financial support if needed.<P>I talk to my mom once a week or so and she doesn't directly ask, but will let me talk if I want and that has been great, never thought that I would be talking to her about some of these things though, didn't know that my parents have had some of the problems they have.<P>I just keep talking and typing, this way things don't get bottled up for very long and left to fester, helps me!!<BR>My three kids still don't know what is going on, the oldest 19 knows that there have been some words between my H and myself but not sure what about, the D word has not been mentioned, however I did have a book Divorce Busting that I was reading and had left it in the plastice bag that I bought it in, and my 10 year old seen it and asked her dad about it with some tears in her eyes and he said that it was just a book mom was reading, so when I got up to go to work that night she asked me and said that she was worried about it and I told her that (in front of H) it was a book that I was reading to help strengthen our marriage so that we wouldn't get a D, she was relieved, and so was I. H did not make any comment. Our 16 year old has some minor medical concerns and has spent a lot of time at home this year, H made mention once that we were probably on hold due to her health concerns and that they should be our focus as of right now.<P>Did not get to software today as spent all day in the sun frying my nose!!! Will work on it after church tomorrow and let everyone know how that is working.<P>The Phone is ringing so must go, that is the only reaason that I have this job!!<P>Let me know how your day went!!

Daybreak,<P>Sorry I didn't see your post earlier when I was on. The rest of the day went okay - the kids and I went shopping, dropped my D (she is 16) off at her job, and my S (10 yrs) and I went to a movie and had ice cream together.<P>H finally called today @ 6 p.m. - offered to pick up D from work, asked how I was doing. I told him we needed to talk. Long story short - he said he wanted to try to make this work, but also said he didn't want to go into to detail about some of his past "activities". I told him I wasn't sure that it really mattered at this point. Also said I wasn't sure I wasn't making a mistake by trying to make it work, but that I loved him. He said "Ilove you" back - hasn't said that for about 4 months. I said we would have to work on honest and open communication, etc. Anyway, we went to bed, he said he didn't want to have an extended conversation cause it was late & he was tired and we shut the light off. Then he asked if I would go to the jewelry armoire and get his wedding ring so he could put it back on - I put it on for him in the dark. Then asked if I would snuggle with him. <P>This all sound good but I have so many nagging doubts about his sincerety. It bothers me that he didn't want to talk tonight or at least make plans to talk at some point in the very near future. I'm thinking, 2 days ago he was probably with OW and today he's telling me he loves me and wants to make it work. He has yet to say that he intends not to "see" OW anymore, although he said he wasn't bouncing back and forth anymore. Is that supposed to mean the same thing? Maybe he felt unconfortable coming home knowing I was unhappy and was thinking about giving him the boot again so he figured he better come up with something to smooth things over. I'm wondering if I'm being strung along. So many unanswered questions, so many doubts. Is it normal to feel this way at this stage? <P>He did tell me that he should have come home Friday night and he felt bad that he didn't. Told me that he had an opportunity to "go out" Saturday night (I knew he would) but turned it down and stayed at the base with 1SG and a couple others - he figured that was noteworthy. I have no way of verifying his story - 1SG would probably lie for him. He didn't tell me where he was Friday night either and I don't know how to ask, if i should ask, or if it matters/makes a difference to our "recovery", if that is truly where we are at.<P>I have talked to 1 sister and no one else in my family. He has told his mother, father (they are divorced), sister, a half brother, and Grandma knows. The lions share of them are in support of me and keeping the M intact. I guess I haven't told more of my family (which isn't particularly close anyway) for the same reason - don't want them to think bad of him. As far as signs - thinking back now ther were probably signs even before we were married that he was a womanizer (he has had probably 3, maybe more (don't know cause he doesn't want to talk about it), one nighters (at least I think they were 1 nighters) and<BR>this current full blown affair in our 12+ yrs (calls himself a whore).<P>I rattled on again. Thanks for the post and please do keep in touch - I was hoping I could find at least one person to chat with regularly - would you be my chat buddy daybreak? HA, HA!<P>Thanks again. I'll check back tomorrow from work for your next post.<P>Darlene<BR> <P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by daybreak:<BR><B>Darlene, <P>Just got to work and wanted to check on you and see how your day went! Hope that you sttayed busy! I did, went to a D.A.R.E.fest with my 10 yrs old and got a sunburnt face, ouch!<P>How old is your daughter? is she your only child? What have you told your family about your situation? I've talked with my parents, and they will support me either way, it's still what I want, just like 20 years ago when I married at age 18!! Maybe I should've listened to them when they were telling me NO, I don't think I would change a thing til the last year or so if I could go back, and that would be to look and see what signs were there that this mess was coming, I am sure that there were signs that I missed, either didn't seem or didn't wasnt to am not sure. My biggest thing is if I stay and get the marriage back together, I don't want my family looking down or thinking bad thoughts or less of my H, as they have always treated him so well, as if he was their 3rd child. My little brother was ready to bash my husband, which made me feel great as he never really had to stick up for me before. I was the first one that he came to when his wife kicked him out, so he has been through this, and has offered emotional and financial support if needed.<P>I talk to my mom once a week or so and she doesn't directly ask, but will let me talk if I want and that has been great, never thought that I would be talking to her about some of these things though, didn't know that my parents have had some of the problems they have.<P>I just keep talking and typing, this way things don't get bottled up for very long and left to fester, helps me!!<BR>My three kids still don't know what is going on, the oldest 19 knows that there have been some words between my H and myself but not sure what about, the D word has not been mentioned, however I did have a book Divorce Busting that I was reading and had left it in the plastice bag that I bought it in, and my 10 year old seen it and asked her dad about it with some tears in her eyes and he said that it was just a book mom was reading, so when I got up to go to work that night she asked me and said that she was worried about it and I told her that (in front of H) it was a book that I was reading to help strengthen our marriage so that we wouldn't get a D, she was relieved, and so was I. H did not make any comment. Our 16 year old has some minor medical concerns and has spent a lot of time at home this year, H made mention once that we were probably on hold due to her health concerns and that they should be our focus as of right now.<P>Did not get to software today as spent all day in the sun frying my nose!!! Will work on it after church tomorrow and let everyone know how that is working.<P>The Phone is ringing so must go, that is the only reaason that I have this job!!<P>Let me know how your day went!!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>