My mother's 74th birthday and Mother's Day fall on the say day. My sister is having a party for her and informed me that H is not invited. When H informed me of second go-round with OW that lasted for 4 1/2 months, my sister was the one I cried to for three hours on the phone until midnight. She says even though H is not seeing OW for now except for business purposes(a whole 2 weeks, she cannot forgive him for what he's done a second time, especially since my family went out of their way to welcome him back at Christmas time and make him feel accepted.(and all the while the A with OW was still going on). My H is a master at deception and lies. No one including myself had a clue about the A this time.<P>So anyway, now I have to inform H that he's not invited to my sister's house on Mother's Day to celebrate my mother's birthday. I fully intend to go with the kids(the two older ones haven't seen her since Xmas-they're away at college) and celebrate her birthday. At 74yrs. how many more birthdays will she have, especially with all her kids and grandkids there to celebrate it? I know this is going to be a major LB no matter how I word it. I'm even willing to cut my visit short and only stay a couple of hours, but I am going to celebrate my mother's birthday. Any suggestions on how to approach this?

I am sure there are going to be a lot of people telling you not to go because it would be a LB. Well sometimes you and your side of the family need to come first. I might be the only one giving you this advice.<P>I know my Mom gets tired of having Tony around all the time when she visits. She comes to see me not him. In fact she hates him due to all his affairs. I tried for the longest time to make her spend time with him. Why? He gets alone time with his family why should I not get one on one time with my Mom? <P>To be honest this is part of the fall out from having an affair. Too bad if his feelings get hurt for every action there is an oposite reaction. Your H needs to understand this. Because he messed up does not give him a right to restrict your time with your family. I would probably suggest to him that he has a lot of work to do to repair the damamge not only with you and your children but to your and his family as well. No one lives in a bubble.<P>Hang in there.

The LB is not yours. It’s your sisters. In fact, it’s not really a LB. It’s fallout from his affair.<P>Just tell him the facts. Your sister made sure to exclude him directly. If he wishes to know why, he can call her personally.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I'm even willing to cut my visit short and only stay a couple of hours, but I am going to celebrate my mother's birthday.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Perfect!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Thanks for your words of wisdom. <P>Chris: I spoke to my sister and she said if H had a problem with her not inviting him, she would be more than willing to talk to him. This is going to be an awkward Mother's Day at the very least. <P>Thanks again for your support.