<BR>How do you all deal with knowing that your spouse is with someone else when you are trying to work on the marriage?<P>I am out of state and cannot find my husband! He won't answer the home phone or his cell phone. He told me earlier he was going home to sleep as he was here this weekend and had to drive most of the night and then go to work.<P>It is 1 in the morning- do you know where your spouse is?!<P>He left me telling me that he wanted to work on the marriage, wasn't ready to stop talking to all the people in his "other" life but was willing to, and wanting the kids and I to come home in two weeks.<P>This is just so unbelievably cruel! How selfish can a person be, you guys?! And, just how stupid am I to allow him to do this to me? <P>I am very frustrated and aggravated from the fact that he is more than probably with her right now.<P>Can I pray and ask God to take the love I have from him out of my heart?

Wish I could give you advice but I am so mad & bitter today, it would not be good advice. just wanting you to know someone was thinking about you.

Thanks, Sing- appreciate your honesty <P>Every day is different, isn't? Actually- every 5 minutes is different for me- hate him, love him, hate him, love him.<P>The not knowing is the hardest part for me. God is teaching me so much- patience and the fact that HE is the one in charge, not me.<P>This is driving me crazy... and watch, tomorrow he will say, "I slept. I was home sleeping." And then, maybe he is. Yeah, right. Here's hoping...

Hi sonzs<P>Hope you're getting some sleep instead of stewing. Sounds like you need your strength. I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. <P>Believe me, I, along with many others here, have been in your shoes many times in the past. Not too long ago in fact; maybe some are going through it right now. Though none of that makes it easier on you.<P>Cling to the hope that at least he's talking and trying on some level to be open. <P>You're in my prayers tonight. I wish you strength and courage to face what you need to, whatever happens come morning.<P>Peace,<P>Snow

Thanks, Snow<P>Yes- sleep is what I need. <P>Night time is the worst though because the kids are sleeping and I have nothing to keep my mind off of it.<P>Good night and PEACE to you, too!

Sonzs,<BR>I am in the same situation as you are 3weeks ago. My WH told me that he need some time to think and I went away in his request in order to give him some space. He lie to me about he is going to bed one night and drove right back to the OW after we finished talk on the phone. Guess what I did?<BR>I got on the first flight back home next morning and told him I totally understand that he just can not control what he is doing. I told him I love him and understand that it is very hard to ask him cut all the connection with the OW at once( he is not willing to give her up at all). I ask him to promise me that he will not lie to me like that again because it really hurts. He look at me with a unbelieveable expresion and smile at me and said- I can not believe what you just did.<BR>I think you have to know what you really want. On the flight back home, I told myself that I have two choices then. One is not taking this sh*t any more and walk, two is do what ever it takes to get my marriage back, even that mean lots more Sh*t ahead of me. I will take it and deal with it hopefully in a right way(I am in an almost hopeless situatin and you are not).<BR>I still remember how hard it was for me that night. Hope you feel better now and wish my post reach you in time. do not do any thing rush. He really is not able to control himself now and you have to keep a clear head yourself to lead him back home.<BR>

Trying 2 Live 2,<P>Thanks for your words.<BR>It is hard to just sit and not know. And, yes, I need to know what I want and work toward that.<BR>I do want our marriage to work. I have to quit being so impulsive and ask GOD for patience!

Hi SONZS,<P>I was just thinking about you! I'm sorry for all you're going through... it sucks, plain and simple.<P>If it makes you feel any better, I usually couldn't find my ex even when I was in the state. He'd turn off the cell and disappear!

I forgot to update...<P>Just as I knew he would say- he said he was sleeping and the cell phone was dead. We have major line problems with our home phone and I can understand him not answering that.<P>So.. I want to believe him but I really can't. He told me that I need to get one of those web cam things so that I can keep an eye on him. I just said that I wish I didn't feel that I did have to keep my eye on him. <P>He knows that I don't trust him and that I will only believe his actions. I wish then he would go out of his way to prove himself. <P>And we had planned on me returning home in almost two weeks but now I think that is too long. I really want to go home and have at least a little sense of normality while this is all playing out. <P>And he is still wanting to attend thereapy on his own at first and then both of us later. I hope it helps instead of hurts.

Sonzs, <BR>Since he does agree to work on things, what stop you go back home right now( unless you are in plan-B).<BR>My WH use the same excuse when he is not anwsering the phone. I called the family live across street from us and told them that my H supose to pick me up that night and I was still waiting at train station. That is how I get the truth- the car is gone.<BR>There is also a divice you can put on his cell to trace where he is about. I found the web site once, but did not save it. If you want to you can do a search under tapping or wire tapping. Do not know if it is legal though and it is a little pricy-1000 dollar.