Dear JL,<BR> thanx 4 the advice it was some thing i have already thought of but wasn't sure if it was right i know i shouldn't be focusing on the GF but it hurts it makes me realize how bad i messed up. yes he was very cool when i messed up in the past VERY considering i have a child as a result of one of my flings. he loves him deeply for that i am thankful also. any way i found out about this site from my H he used it to help him through the things i put him though. i am already getting help for the things ive done to myself. for that i am thankful. i guess i need to learn how to go one day at a time.<P>thanx JL<P>Amanda

JL this is ready2change i didnt realize i had posted in my H<BR>name until it was already posted SORRY <P><BR>Amanda

Hello Amanda,<P>So you are Paul's W. It is nice to meet you. I am glad that you have decided to come here. I am also glad that you have decided you want to work on the marriage. I realize that this is something he waited for a long time. Perhaps, he is skeptical that it is for real.<P>If you don't mind could you tell us more about where you were emotionally and where you are now. It may help us to help you.<P>Have you ever read any of your H's old posts? There are a few in the "notable posts" section, that NSR compiled in his general greeting section in the "Just Found Out" part of this site. Perhaps these might give you some perspective on what you are dealing with. Perhaps they may hurt too much you must judge that.<P>Amanda, what I said in your other post still stands. You can make a difference, but it may take time. Talk with your H, and then lead your life as you talk. Does that make sense.<P>I look forward to hearing from you. And I suspect that others here will do their best to help you.<P>God Bless,<P>JL<P>

Hi Amanda-<P>I just wanted to welcome you. I do know a lot of your story from reading Paul's posts, and want to wish you both the best.<P>Kathi

Welcome Amanda,<P>Here are the links that JL told you about:<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A><P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counsel Link</A><P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>What Are Plan A and Plan B</A><P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A><P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A><P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>POJA</A><P>It's a lot of info...<P>Please fill us in on where you are emotionally right now...<P>We're here to help you!!<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

Well, it appears that everyone has met my W now. I followed some of her posts but never said anything. I want her to find the answers she is looking for on her own and I know everyone here is willing to help. Thanks.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

Amanda,<P>Here is the post listed in the "notable posts" under the "success section". I thought you would appreciate that last touch. Please read Paul's post, but more importantly the post that was sent to him. It is one of the most touching and powerful posts I have ever seen here. <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/007869.html" TARGET=_blank> Pauls Notable </A><P>God Bless,<P>JL

Why, oh, why do we get so stressed out when it is so obvious that GOD is in charge?<P>That was a beautiful story and I am glad that you posted it again for all of us new people to read!