I have never felt my blood boil like it has been today-reading sad_and_lonely's works of art <P>I am out of here-can't stand this type of crap-<P>poor sad_and_lonely<P>you will do anything to try and justify your affair-<P>GUESS WHAT<P>I AIN'T BUYING IT<P>EVER<P>If I could get close enough to that ego of yours I would pop it with a very sharp pin!<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

I already told him I was mad at him and I don't even have PMS... jeez louise, if I did... there'd be BIG TROUBLE!!!<P>Just remember dearheart, YOU ARE A MARVELOUS FANTASTIC WOMAN... isn't that all that matters????

I can't even <I>get</I> PMS and his posts scald my rearend...

Hi NB-<P>Sheesh-I haven't felt this "edgy" in eons.<P>But I read this bull crap oif his and if it ain't some poor soul trying to talk his way out of any wrong doing I don't know what it is.<P>At least my H was able to admit he did wrong-and prove himself sorry by not threatening me.<P>Oh I swear------had my H ever once said he would be out of here if I did anything he would have been out of here alright-with the help of a very pointed shoe.<P>Where does this guy get off?<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

I agree: Sad n lonely is feeding off this group, don't you think? Everything we say, he counters and does not heed anything we say. <P>Poor sad n lonely's wife, she out to put him out with the trash for tomorrow's pick up.<P>I'm tired of this crap too, will it ever end... he mentioned "she talks all the time, never shuts up" Dang, I think he DID meet his match!! He doesn't even come up for air, and does he go to work ever?<P>Cathy

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Catplay:<BR><B>I agree: Sad n lonely is feeding off this group, don't you think? Everything we say, he counters and does not heed anything we say. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh, unless it suits his purpose.<P>He took words of mine and made a whole post out of it.<P> I am quite angry, honestly, and I can't even put my finger on it. I'm still upset about him using one name and then coming back with another... and crap, I honestly don't know why it upset me so much. But it did.<P>We do need to be careful though, because he desperately DOES NEED HELP. I just can't be the one to give it anymore.<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited May 01, 2001).]

I think sad_n_lonely is really confusedinMI from the DD board. That person had all the same arguments and rationalizations for leaving his marriage and having an affair. He too made the argument that marriage should not be "bondage", that it should be discarded if a better offer comes along (yes, confusedinMI actually said that).<P>NB and I spent quite a bit of time arguing with him, but as I always say: never wrestle with a pig, because you both get dirty and the pig likes it.... <P>AGG

AGG,<P>He admitted he is one in the same. Didn't know if you'd seen that...<P>Love that pig quote... cracks me up every time!!

In the back of my mind, i was wondering if S&L could be an OW coming here to post her situation with MM. Just a thought, I could be wrong, it has been known to happen But then again, it does sound like a male, u know how they think believe they are GOD and everyone else couldn't be right! SORRY GUYS, the devil made me say it!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B><BR>He admitted he is one in the same. Didn't know if you'd seen that...</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Sheryl,<P>Thanks! I just read that thread and realized that he came out of the closet... Silly me. Oh well, at least I figured it out all by myself, even though Lori beat me to it! <P>AGG

Well-it looks like I am not alone in my feelings and opinions about this certain situation.<P>Thanks all of you for keeping my sanity in check-I thought I was losing it.<P>I too love the pig in the mud crack-pretty cute-and oh so true.<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

No problem folks, think what you must, and I understand the illwill. But I am male, and if my presence is distressing I will leave peacefully. Thanks for your responses (well the other ones, these weren't all that appreciated). I do understand this is a support board site for bs, and I was reluctant to post here, but it seemed to be ok, perhaps I should have not.

S&L:<P>This is not just a board for BS. This is also a board for WS (wayward spouses). However, there is a caveat: the WS are here to mend their marriages. They are not here to post glowing reviews of the OW/OM and how "special" and "wonderful" they are compared to the BS, how their entire marriage was a mistake, or to go on and on and on about their BS's bad points. The WS are here to make amends. To come to terms with the fact that they screwed up, that their spouses are indeed wonderful people innocent of wrongdoing, and to figure out how to make amends to the BS honestly, sincerely, with their whole heart open.<P>I don't think that I described you - did I?<P>belld

AT LAST!<P>I was beginning to think I was the only one who was infuriated by this whole "justification" mess!<P>However, please notice that I have NOT posted anything directly to sad & lonely, as I have already been basically told recently that I just don't understand the feelings of the poor betrayer who is just SO unhappy in his marriage.<P>BELLDANDY,<P>VERY well said!<P>I feel SO much better now!<P>Peppermint

No bell you did not describe me. I am here trying to figure out what to do, have not decided yet. Perhaps I will become as you say. However I did screw up, and my spouse is not responsible for my choice. But then I knew that all along. What you are seeing is my struggle with what a mariage should be, and my struggle with what an affair means. In describing my circumstances it is hard not to sound like I am blaming my spouse, I am not, it takes 2 to fail a marriage, I know that. But you need to understand that if the marriage was working (and my wife a wonderful mate) I would not have been drawn elsewhere. I am not a wonderful mate either (and not just cause of a) IMO we would both be better off with people we fit better, but I am not positive. So I ask questions of others. I am not singing praises of op, but some of you (understandably) demonize op, that is not right either. In fact, the harley's themselves say everyone (which I guess has to include all the bs) can and will have an affair under the right circumstances. I have no doubt some, maybe most op may be predatory and/or seriously immoral.....I am neither, and neither is this particular ow, hence my comments refuting some of the criticism/observations of op. In any event I am NOT here as an advocate for affairs or op, it is wrong. So, in your opinion, are my circumstances such that I should not be posting?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by belldandy:<BR><B>S&L:<P>This is also a board for WS (wayward spouses). However, there is a caveat: the WS are here to mend their marriages. They are not here to post glowing reviews of the OW/OM and how "special" and "wonderful" they are compared to the BS, how their entire marriage was a mistake, or to go on and on and on about their BS's bad points. The WS are here to make amends. To come to terms with the fact that they screwed up, that their spouses are indeed wonderful people innocent of wrongdoing<P><BR>belld</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Some ws come because of the continued conflict within themselves...they are in the midst of an affair, and come here to seek opinion, clarity, and perhaps at times, support.<P>many of these types of ws do indeed regale us with their 'special' stories of their OP, and about all that is wrong with their marriages.<P>many <I>are</I> here to make amends, or rather, TO LEARN THE TOOLS with which they CAN make amends.<P>how many times have we seen the bs come here and go on and on and on about their ws bad points, bad habits, etc...yet wrap it all up in guise of venting??<P>and it angers me to no end to state that the bs are wonderful people innocent of wrong doing. Yes, the CHOICE to have an affair rests soley on the shoulders of the ws, but a large hurdle for MANY bs to jump over is the one where we learn to take responsibility for OUR PART in an unhappy marriage...not all of us are 'innocent'....<P>we all have 'issues' or we would not be here.<P>broad and judgemental generalisations help no one.<P>many ws need to be <I>gently</I> led to the point where clarity can come, where the fog can be lifted, but this cannot occur when they are being judged and yelled at (this just leads them to believe more and more in their own rationalizations and justifications, and that the rest of us bs's are cult-crazed obsessed marriage-savers).<P>we do not have to agree with each other at all times, (and if you know someone's posts leave a sour taste in your mouth, or will be inflamatory to you, then perhaps not reading theirs is one answer)<P>but there needs to be a level of civility and respect above all else...<P>remember, even when we used to pull out the 'frying pans' or '2 x 4's', we tried to do it with grace and humour.<P>insults and judgmental attitudes should have no place here.<P>I too find S&L's posts, beliefs and opinions odiferous, however, if I yell at him, or call him a moron, or wish his wife to be rid of him, please show me whare I am HELPING this wayward spouse??<P>S & L has mentioned that he is the midst of a divorce...perhaps we give his W too little credit?...he may/may not be here to save his marriage, but surely we can band together to see and try to help so that he can make the attempt to become a better person.<P>(((((((((Heartache)))))))))<P>don't you dare go anywhere......your reaction here to S & L comes from a deep, private place of your personal pain...and remember my post to 'rippedapart'??...it had very much the same feel to it....<P>and you told me then, not to leave.<P>I just think there is a better way to deal with certain 'personalities'....but out and out insults and demeaning words do nothing but make the members of this board look bad.<P><BR>Dylan<P><P>------------------<BR>"The journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it."<BR>~ A Course in Miracles