My 10th anniversary is coming up in about 7 weeks. A little history---H began A Jan 00, was going ahead full steam until September. Then has been off again on again ever since. He currently works with the OW as her supervisor, but that hopefully will be changing very soon. He says he has no feelings for her, but continues to talk to her outside of work. Says that once he does not work with her, he will not talk to her anymore, will block cell phone, emails, etc. Says that he is not leaving, but doesn't really want to work on our marriage---he's here for the kids. Probably still in the fog and denial of the affair, hopefully once he's not working with her it will begin to clear a little.<P>Anyway, what do I do for our anniversary. Last year on our 9th, he moved out. He was back a week later, but the memories of that day are starting to haunt me again. How far do I take the celebration of our 10th? I would like to give him a special gift, but am not really sure what. He really wants a Tag Heuer watch (probably about $1000+). Do I get him something that extravagent or will it be perceived as "too much" considering the circumstances. I do not expect him to get me a gift because I have said for many years that I had always dreamed of having a baby grand piano, and we just bought one a few weeks ago.<P>Anyway, folks, I need your input here. We aren't really in recovery because he's still talking to her, but the affair isn't what it was before either. I guess I'm in limbo land, along with many others.....<P>Help me out....

Do you FEEL like giving him a gift? He's only there for the kids? Yup, that's fog alright!<BR>Boy, no card fits this situation, does it? I know, I looked too. I say do what YOU feel ,nothing more and nothing less.<BR>So sorry for your pain...best to you both

Hi hurtingnil,<P>I don't want to bore you with the same ol' story if you read it on other posts, but if you didn't, please click on the link and scroll down to my reply... I think it might help you:<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/008548.html" TARGET=_blank>My suggestion for an anniversary gift</A><P>Best wishes to you... I know how hard it is...

Maybe we can start a new business-<P>creating cards for just these ocassions! <P>When you just don't know what to say or how to say it... Send our cards <P>Our anniversary is coming up soon, too, so I think I will read what Sheryl has to say.<P>

Yeah, a new business... cards that say things like:<P>I used to love you but you piss me off now! Happy Anniversary!!<P>or<P>I still love you but you piss me off now! Happy Anniversary!!<P>Honestly, only kidding... but there would be a business in it!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited May 01, 2001).]

Yep, it's springtime when hearts turn to Love - choke, sputter.........<P>My serious reply: $1000 is a lot for someone still talking to his OW. I suggest NB's 1st suggestion, with a less extravagant gift - the words are more important.<P>My other reply: the ashes from your weenie roast - with a get well card.<P>dave