Sorry folks-I went against what so many are trying to keep from happening.<P>I am not proud of it-but it was more than I could stand.<P>I had no business being rude to anyone for any reason.<P>However...........being in a rotten terrible marriage for 13 1/2 years where my mind was messed with beyond anything imaginable I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.<P>It was his comment that if his wife told the OMW he would not be there another minute.<P>What a threat. I am just fuming.<P>Anyhow-I came back here to say sorry.<P>I am going-I don't need to cause any troubles anywhere.<P>Take care all-I'll be thinking about ya <P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

heartache,<P>I think that most everyone posting on this board was offended by that remark. Just because you were the first person to pick up on it and voice your opinion doesn't make you a bad person. It was very painful for me to read, too - I cannot conceive of such a callous attitude, trying to "protect" the OW. This MM is in a deep, deep fog, heartache. I know that you don't want to go there again. Neither do I. I hope that you stay and just ignore his posts. That's what I hope to do - not to say that I *will,* but that is my intention.<P>belld

heartache,<P>Please don't leave. <P>We all lose our temper from time to time.<P>Under the circumstances it is understandable.<P>{{{{{{{{heartache}}}}}}}}}<P> <--- me if you leave<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

No need to leave on my account. This is hard stuff, I know that. But I am surprised at the effect that my remark had on you and a few others. I had no idea, and now I am wondering what the effect is on my wife. It occurs to me that my equating leaveing with protecting the ow may have been cruel. My goal was to prevent something I think could be potentially dangerous, and I did tell her that too, maybe that is all I should have said, and let her decide for herself what to do. Ya know, difficult as it is to remember, op are people too, and not objects to be depersonalized to the point they have no value. That is how we came to kill 6 million jewish non-people in ww2. Affairs are very painful, and participants not worthy of much consideration, but they are still people.

Sad_and_lonely-<P>This is for you! I want to try and explain to you what effect your comment had on me.<P>You put me back a good 15 years. Your comment sounded nothing short of a very serious threat to me. I call it playing head games. You sounded so very much like my ex.<P>I am not here at MB because of my first marriage-yet what you said made me remeber so fully all the threats he made to me. How I cowered under his control. How I was afraid to ever disrupt the household by daring to leave him, taking the kids from their home, making it in this world on my own. I spent 13 1/2 years with this person and I regret most of it all. Your words brought his threats and ability to manipulate me back as fresh as if it had been yesterday. Never again will I allow anyone to threaten me like he did and like you mentioned threatening your wife.<P>I can NOT even begin to tell you how very angry it makes to me to know there is a woman out there afraid to make any move unless it is condoned by her H.<P>I am sorry but here goes my personal opinion-if anyone can choose to screw up their marriage by having an affair then the BS has every right to deal with has now become her situation any way she/he sees fit.<P>I don't mean that a BS can harrass and threaten the other party to the A but I do feel that we all deal with our hurt and rejection in similiar and then again in very different ways.<P>Your user name disturbs me-it doesn't fit your readings.<P>I see your wife as being sad and lonely.<P>You have NO right to threaten her-and now you say it ws a hollow threat.<P>Face up to what you did-because as far as I am concerned-you can NOT justify having an A.<P> <P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Do NOT go!! <P>I am so very sorry for the pain caused by this situation... do not let ANYONE tell you how you are "SUPPOSE" to feel...<P>Love you, and please, please stay!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by new_beginning:<BR><B>... do not let ANYONE tell you how you are "SUPPOSE" to feel...<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>((((((heartache))))))), I posted a response on the PMS thread....<P>but I have to address what sheryl wrote here....<P><B>but sheryl, isn't the above EXACTLY what some are doing to sad and lonely??</B><P>we can't have double standards...to hold 'one side of the coin' to different standards (BS to WS)..that is neither fair or mature of us...<P>much love to you both....heartache...we once almost left due to 'rippedaparts' crap...remember that?...<P>we don't have to agree with S&L, but we can try to help him see how his beliefs would be hurtful to his W.<P><BR>Dylan<P>

Guess what <B>Dylan</B>? I think this was SUPPOSE to happen!<P>s_a_l now realizes what effect his words might have on his W... did you read that??<P>I told him I was angry with him and that *I* could not longer help him... and I will stand by that. His words dug a big hole for me, as they did for heartache. I do not know why... but it is my truth. I didn't tell him to go away, I told him I can't help him. Big difference. <P>Obviously, I don't see this as a double standard.<P>But I'll give it some thought... and I did write him a message asking him to stay, but again, telling him I can't help...<P>Things that make me go "hmmm"