After 17 years of marriage, my husband has left myself and our 2 young children to move into an apartment, on his own. This was 5 days ago. He was having a deep Emotional Affair ('soulmates!!') that eventually turned into a Physical Affair. He says that he is not seeing the OW at the moment, but is still in contact with her via e-mail. He kept in touch the first couple of days, but since then has not contacted either the children or me. He told the children that he would take them out today, but has not contacted me to make any arrangements. I strongly suspect that he is once again seeing the OW in his new apartment and cannot face us, or the pain he is causing. He has never had a close relationship with the children and one of our problems is that he admits to being jealous of my relationship with them. He did say that he really wanted to work at building up a stronger relationship with them once he was living on his own, and I supported this as I know it would be much easier for them to relate to him if I wasn't with them all the time. He says that he is still very mixed up - he is in love with the OW but doesn't know if they will end up together, he still 'loves' me as a friend or 'sister' figure, but not as a wife and does not believe that we could ever have that sort of relationship ever again. He also says that even if things don't work out with the OW then he would consider the third option of living alone anyway.<P>I am trying to keep going with Plan A - I'm finding it very hard because although I can see that I didn't give him enough attention when he needed it, this was because of circumstances that were beyond my control (we emigrated to America from England and completely lost our family support group of willing babysitters/grandparents/aunts etc.). He also never once told me how he was feeling, so I thought everything was OK up until D-Day. If I had known, then of course I would have done something about it.<P>Anyway, Plan A was going OK some days, then on others I'd go back to square one and hit him with some love-busters. I still want to carry on trying Plan A for quite a while longer, as I feel I'm getting better at it - but now he has moved out and looks as though he's trying to sever most of the contact with me. I'm prepared to go on to Plan B if necessary, but we didn't leave Plan A on a good note so I don't really feel comfortable about this. I need some advice on how I can carry on Plan A under these circumstances and even more important - how can I make him aware of the incredible damage he is doing to his children without it seeming like I'm hurling more 'love busters'?<P>Thanks! Paint
