I have been thinking, will my H new relationship with this OW #2 last?<P>First of all , I know he is a liar. A very good liar to be blunt. Always has been.<P>Okay, he "lives" in her parents side of the duplex. Claims they haven't had sex. good family enviornment. Built in grandparents. Don't have to contend with kids Dad because he is Dead. Grandpa is H friend, business associate so to speak. They have lots of toys (big boy types) over there. My kids love to go Play and have fun there.<P>If he and OW#2 really are just "friend" LOL how long will it take before they are more than "friend". When/If they are more than friends, what happens if H gets annoyed/disgusted/ with Her, her parents, her kids. What if she gets annoyed with my kids? WHAT SANE MAN would want to live like this?<BR>Is this capable of working out for the long haul?<P>Since he broke up with #1OW at end of Jan and was becoming friendly with #2 during this time and at end of March moves over there? Maybe he isn't looking for sex? Maybe he needs a mommy to take care of him and his kids?<P>Hey you men out there, what do you think?<P>Hopelessmom

Hopelessmom:<P>He didn't stay with OW#1 so why should OW#2 be any more special? The only thing these women have/had going for them is that they are "new and different." Not better. Wish I could do or say more to help. I am thinking of you though.<P>LWM

Dear Hopelessmom:<P>In the long run I don't think it makes much difference whether he stays with OW#2 or not....if things have not gotten any better between you then he probably will just move on to someone else anyway.<P>I think you are making a common mistake and focusing too much on what your WS is doing (we all have done it and do it at first)....there is little you can do about anything he is doing....you can only effect what you do...and that's where you need to be concentrating your energy...that and your kids. Because you can drive yourself crazy trying to figure these WS out.<P>We also make the common mistake of blaming the OW for what is going on....when actually the person who is doing this to us is the WS...he is the one who has betrayed and hurt us,,,,where or who he is with is irrelevant because he's there because he's chosen to do so....and if you want him to want to be back with you then something about your marriage needs to change....and since he apparently is content with his situation (right now) the only one who can effect this situation is you...but that involves putting aside all the anger you feel toward him ( or rather rising above it) and beginning the work that is necessary to reconstruct your marriage. <P>Although I understand your anger, in this situation it is a waste of time...because anger won't change a thing...only love and willingness to change (on both sides) can. I hate to see you stuck in this anger because it really just delays the real work that needs to be done. If you're like me you are a wonderful woman, a good mother and probably were a pretty good wife...but mistakes were made and allowed to build a wall between you and your WS...now's the time to start tearing down that wall and reaching out for things to change. <P>You've got the advantage over any OW that might come into his life...years of struggling together...beautiful children together...all the memories of a life together....and that's all still there inside him...he's just chosen to forget it right now...but he'll remember...you just have to be ready when he does. <P><BR>Faye<P> <p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited May 05, 2001).]