after reading the"the ultimate lie" thread, it made me think that maybe my WH was involved in some other things that I don't know about. I know he isn't gay, but I wonder about Porno or drugs or has some STD that he doesn't want to fess up about. He has been to 4 different counselors and he gets a pattern with them, sees them for short time, then switches. I am afraid that they get close to discovering the whole problem and he gets scared and moves to another counselor. I did find lots of porno pictures on the attachment file when I cleaned up the email to investigate signs of OW, also found a "Joy of Sex" book in his closet, I have thought all along that this OW (rhymes with 4 and door) has him addicted to kingy sex or possibly even porno or both or even gave him drugs and is blackmailing him. He is a cop and that really scares me. He also met her as he teaches in Law Enforcement academy in one of his classes, so there is a chance that she could sue him for sexual harassament too. He loves his job, that has always been a problem in our marriage, works all the time, but he has put it as an idol in front of God and look at what happened. Lots of friends, think he will lose this job when the truth comes out about her being in his class and he being the instructor. But I also think that there is something that he hasn't told anyone and that's why is stays away from us his family. Have any of you found out secrets during this time??

Hi SEF,<P>I only have a moment -- dinner soon -- but I do have something to offer you, and I think you know I mean this sincerely, and with love:<P>YOU MAY NEVER KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH<P>My ex had three affairs in 1987... he told me, for thirteen years straight, that they meant nothing, they were emotional affairs only, and that he did nothing physical. In 1999, our 19th year of marriage, I had a brief affair with a co-worker (that's what brought me here to MB) and while he was trying to "console" me, he told me the truth (his version, again I believe there was more to it)... his truth? That he'd engaged in kissing, groping, and oral sex with two of them. I KNEW there was more, all those years... sigh... I think you know in your heart what the truth is, hon. I know I did.<P>Remember, weekends are slow... so the replies may be a bit slow coming...<P>Your friend, <P>Sheryl