I am alone this weekend, my husband is on a business trip and suddenly I am flooded with questions and fears. I know something is different, but how do I talk to him about my fears without seeming like a paranoid twit.<P>This is the second marriage for both of us and yes he left his first wife for me. He also confided to me years ago that he had affairs during his first marriage, but we promised each other that we would talk it out if we felt we were straying away from our commitment.<P>Anyway, he has been coming home from working late and says his work load has tripled. There is a female coworker who buys him gifts (birthdays, Christmas) and who he buys gifts for, but we bought her birthday present together. There is a phone number on his palm pilot with an initial for the listing, when the rest of his listings have the name spelled out.<P>I could go on and on with my amateur detective work, but I am sure you all get the picture. I just need advice on how to approach this with him, because I love him dearly and I need to know what is happening to our marriage. Any advice would be greatly appraciated.

If the signs are there or even if you only THINK there are signs, by all means talk to him about it...<P>In my situation W (WS) was giving me signals that all was not right and I blew them off to mean nothing. I wish we had talked earlier..perhaps we wouldn't be at such a loss now....<P>When you talk tell him your fears and concerns. They real because they are real to YOU. Don't let him pooh-pooh them like they are nothing.

Trust is a funny thing...I agree with Elad, you should tell him of your fears...the longer it's allowed to continue,the worse it will be later. Be non-jugdemental if you can.Make it easy for him to tell you...being angry won't help.<P>Were you the OW in his first M? If so, then you already know the signs...<BR>