For those of you following my story, you know that my W is at her sister's house right now because she has breast cancer. On Friday, my W called me to thank me for finishing the projects that she had not completed before she left and told me that she knew I had a lot of things going right now (taking care of the kids, taking time off work for them, finishing the costumes and props for the school play, etc). Then she told me that the my sister-in-law's cancer had spread to the lymph nodes and that because it had gotten so bad that they only gave her a 10% chance of survival. I talked to her for about 20 minutes about it, but my W would not let me get close to her (figuratively speaking). Needless to say I cried most the rest of the day (I know men aren't supposed to cry, but I am very very close to my W's sisters). I don't know how my W's mom and dad are holding up. They have one daughter with very bad cancer, one daughter that is having an affair and divorcing her husband (me) over it, and a son who goes in for spinal chord surgery next week. <P>I have tried to be there emotionally for my W, but she will not let me close. I know she is using OM for emotional support and feel awful about it. She knows that I can help her right now but will not let me.<P>Any suggestions. I too am an emotional wreck over most recent news, in addition to the affair.<P>S&C

I'm sorry to hear this sad news about your SIL. Lets hope that she can beat this. All I can suggest is just being there for your wife in any way you can. She may not let you close, but do your best and offer whatever help you can. Even if she doesn't accept it, she will know that you are there.<P>Hang in there...you are doing the right stuff, and you can't do much more.

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister in law. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife's family.

I have indeed tried to be there any way I can. Last night I asked her on the phone how she was doing. She said fine. I told her that I know how tough it is on her right now. That she has to be there emotionally for her sister and has not been able to let her own emotions show. All she said was that she is fine. I then told her that if she needed anything at all, to call me. She said I know.<P>That was it, end of conversation. She just will not let me get close emotionally. I know I need to be patient, but it makes my stomach churn to know that she is crying to OM when I have always served that role for her, and want to STILL serve that role.<P>dave