It has been almost 3 months since she moved in with OM, we have had little contact, her choice not mine. I quess I am somewhere between plan A and plan B, B+ maybe. I read somewhere, that most affairs fizzle after 6 months of being revealed. She has called and left messages, letting me know she is very happy, I quess if you are truely happy, why would you need to call and let people know. I am hanging tight. And working my plan, it is hard, but this site really has helped me.

Hi! Jabber,<BR>You are doing a good job by hanging there and I pray for your courage. <BR>It hurts me so much to know how far our WS are willing to go to hurt us. It is hard enough for you without her call already.<BR>My WH do the same thing to me but is a different way. I will post a topic after this one, if you would like to take a look.<BR>Some time I just wonder how can they ever hurt their spouse so consiously (but they all said - It is not my intention to hurt you). It is like they already ran over the person by a car, instead of getting of and checking on the injured victim, they just back of the car couple more times to make sure the person is totally dead and drive away. <BR>I believe your wife must be a very nice person before the A in order for you to love her so much, and so does my H. But some time just can not stop think- if they can do this to us, they will have no problem to do it to any strangers. I wonder if I can live with a murderer, a liar and a betrayer and a person do not care other’s feelings.

Hi jabber - stay the course. You're still in Plan A, similar to me, despite that the communication is minimal. Try to find reasons to make some contact so that you can demonstrate your improvements and remind her that you still love her. The big difference, to me, from Plan B is the break YOU make in your Plan B letter. You take control of the contact and make that psychological and symbolic break until the WS is ready to make a change back toward the marriage.<P>By telling you that she is very happy, she may just be trying to convince herself. <P>WAT

Yup, I wouldn't call it plan B, it is plan A with minimal contact.<P>You are doing good! Keep on keeping on!<BR>TnT

I feel much the same way you do. She was very nice and a good wife for 23yrs and a good mother. It is hard to believe this woman could do this. She has been so cruel, for no apparent reasons. I try to remember that this is an addiction, and with any addiction when they are in denial, they must blame soneone for what they are doing, it is to painful to face thereselves. My therapist says that the calls are her way of staying connected to me. It hurts me when she calls and I can't allow myself to be hurt anymore.<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by trying to live2:<BR><B>Hi! Jabber,<BR>You are doing a good job by hanging there and I pray for your courage. <BR>It hurts me so much to know how far our WS are willing to go to hurt us. It is hard enough for you without her call already.<BR>My WH do the same thing to me but is a different way. I will post a topic after this one, if you would like to take a look.<BR>Some time I just wonder how can they ever hurt their spouse so consiously (but they all said - It is not my intention to hurt you). It is like they already ran over the person by a car, instead of getting of and checking on the injured victim, they just back of the car couple more times to make sure the person is totally dead and drive away. <BR>I believe your wife must be a very nice person before the A in order for you to love her so much, and so does my H. But some time just can not stop think- if they can do this to us, they will have no problem to do it to any strangers. I wonder if I can live with a murderer, a liar and a betrayer and a person do not care other’s feelings.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>