I remember you and just wanted to say it is good to see you back.<P>Sorry to hear your life isn't everything you want and deserve it to be-YET.<P>Keep trying <P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Oh yeah!! That's right! I was on the divorced/divorcing board for a long time, wasn't I?<P>I never thought that I would be back here, and sometimes I wonder if I am glad of it, I am ashamed to say. This marriage thing is SO hard and so confusing, and I, like a lot of people, sometimes question as to why it is worth it. What should be the happiest thing in life sometimes feels like a slap in the face, a cross to bear. But I am not going to give up, and that's why I am back.<P>I have to admit, I am not the friend that I should be--so many people here have wise counsel and kind, comforting words to share with others. I feel like there is nothing that I can really say because sometimes, I feel so sad, and because I am still struggling with it all, there is nothing that I can really add that would make sense.<P>There have been so many times that I wanted to reach out to someone who is hurting, but I can't find the words to say it.<P>I should count my blessings, the affair is over and I have my husband back. But it feels like trying to pick up the pieces of your home after a tornado has ripped it apart--so much sadness, lost memories, uncertainty, and a lack of energy.<P>I need a lot of help. I am struggling with forgiving my husband for his unfaithfulness and his addictions. I am struggling with trying to change myself to meet HIS needs, and not what I think he needs. I am struggling with the problem of being angry.<P>I have tried to be proactive, and I have gone to counseling, but after two sessions, the counselor just told me "I don't really think that there is a reason for you to come back, unless you just need someone to talk to, because I don't really see that you have the problem. The problem you do have is to learn to cope with your husband."<P>So that's what I have to do, and I have no idea where to begin. So that's why I am still here.<P>Well, Heartache, I am glad that you are still here as well. You were pretty mad there for a while, and I am glad that you didn't leave the forum. I think that we all really need each other's support and friendship, and it's sad when we are hurt and offended in the very place that we come to for guidance. So I am glad that you are here, too.<P>Thank you all for what you do for me, even though you all might not know it. I read and ponder your thoughts and counsel and it has gotten me through many a sad and discouraging day. <P>