I have seen little hints that my hubby is not being honest regarding contact with OW. It's been 6 months since discovery (this time) we have gone thru conseling. He is very vague about things. What ways have some of you gotten information. His only opportunity to speak or see her is during work hours. Or on days off that I have to work, which are once or twice every month. Have any of you ever used a private detective? what did it cost? any other methods? I know that I may not like what I find. I am prepared for that. He will be required to leave if that is the case. I just need to find hard evidence and not just my suspicions to go on. He has been extremely talented in covering his tracks and his ability to lie in the past. He never used the cell phone or home phone. there is no way to track the work phone. I've asked lots of questions but am having a hard time buying what his answers are but do not have any proof otherwise. can anyone help?

Well, I thought he wasnt using the home phone either. Then I put a tape recording device on the phone on a weekend when I would be out of town and low and behold he had gotten a calling card so there fore never showed up on phone bill.<P>But I did get the taped conversation.<P>My friend & I rented a car and followed him. Budget rental $44.00. Wear a hat and maybe sit in back?<P>As far as work conversations, I cant help you there.

And hopefully in the past 6 months there haven't been any lovebusters?????<P>Nothing wrong with a little Pre-disclosure plan A... <P>

jo,<P>I did hire a P.I. to the tune of five grand. That included almost 350 man hours having H followed by four men in "unmarked cars." I know when he was w/ OW and when he wasn't. I knew just when he got to her apartment and when he left in the morning. I know some of the places they went. I know a lot about her, from her parents' and brother's names to where she lives, works, what she drives, her D.L. number, social security no., age, criminal background (including criminal aliases), phone numbers, neighbors, etc. There wasn't much I could do with this information, really. It did put a face on the "enemy" so I could see who I was up against. It was nothing I couldn't have found out on my own if I'd really wanted to. A male friend offered to tail H around to find out who he was living with (I knew that he *wasn't* where he said he was for the most part). I turned him down. Didn't want anyone else involved.<P>All of that money and effort could have been saved, had H just been HONEST. That's what I don't understand. All he had to do was tell me that he was seeing someone else, and I could have divorced him or I could have decided to Plan A/Plan B. But since he didn't tell me, I can only assume that he didn't want me to find out. Because he figured I would divorce him - ??<P>Who knows. All I can say is, if you have the money, a P.I. is the way to go. You get a lot of solid answers (admissible in a court of law, if your intention is to divorce) and you don't get your hands dirty.<P>belld

I know someone who has hired a detective. The PI's were off duty law enforcement officers. They went to her house and watched her for 4 hours. Did get the auto license number and then they did a back ground check. They got SSN #, criminal check, phone number, neighbors and address. They got this information from ussearch.com.<P>Was able to see email activity by looking at the temp internet files, cell phones, and home long distance bill. Checked his cell phone and pager for phone number and messages. Found potential alias, found potential fraud, turned it over to the authorities and shared some information with H, not all.<P>Their total cost was $1200.<BR>

I didn't share many of the things the P.I. unearthed w/ my H. Had he come clean about his involvement with the XOW right away and told me everything I needed to know to make an informed choice about my future, I would have told him what he needed to know. But as long as he wasn't talking, I wasn't talking. Now it just seems rather pointless. I did keep the entire dossier, though. It is locked up in a very safe place. Once I'm convinced that H has had no contact with XOW or any other woman without my knowledge for, oh, five years, then I will destroy it.<P>belld