I'm smiling - I can't believe it, I'm actually smiling!! thanks! <P>Some of my favourites...<P>"I need to find myself"<BR>"I've been unhappy with our relationship for years now"<BR>"No, I'm not having a mid-life crisis"<BR>"No, I'm not depressed because of burn-out at work" (said after working 80hr weeks for several months, along with the knowledge that if this project 'failed', then the company would go bankrupt and everyone would lose their jobs....)<BR>"I love you, but I'm not in love with you, I love you like a friend"<BR>"I don't regret our marriage" (but he's not prepared to give it even one single chance)<BR>"The kids will be fine, I turned out OK after my parents divorced" (Ahem...you are in the process of wrecking your own marriage, and your brother started using drugs and finally committed suicide because of it, remember....go figure?).<BR>"I feel trapped and need freedom to live my life again" (then the following day he tells me that he would give the OW the children she eventually wants to have, because he feels 'ready to become a father now' - well sweetie, why not try starting with the kids you already have? Has he even thought that if he has more kids in a few years time, then he would still be 'trapped' until he's 60?!!)<P>Sometimes I wonder if the word 'Affair' is really a medical term for some sort of brain disease,<BR>hugs, Paint.

My WH useed some of these. Others were:<BR>"The kids are grown now and I can do what I want"<BR>"We just drifted apart"(Nobody told ME we drifted apart! I'm still here. He's the one that did the drifting!<P>For a full month my WH went "ice-fishing" every single weekend.He didn't take any fishing supplies-left them all in the garage,and came home cleaner than when he left. He told me he showered at his fishing buddies house! I actually believed him for awhile!

Ladies and Gentlemen,<P>For you continued amusement here is a thread from the notable posts dated 1999. With a similar list. See if you can find some new lines to try.<P>I must admit that AGG has the most original so far in this post, at least by my judgement.<P>Here is the post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/007371.html" TARGET=_blank> Sweatpea </A><P>Enjoy,<P>JL

These make me laugh, I had forgotten I also got the one, there is to much between us and we won't have a history now. <P>

here is something that is kind of original maybe...<BR>When my wife was staying at the health club late, she would come in and tell me that she was talking to a few guys from the gym and that is why she was late. And i would say "why cant you get any female friends" and her response was "most of the girls at the gym, dont like to WORK out like I do"<P>Ok!! is that Crazy or what???<P>and get this....now really listen to this...<P>She told me when i found out that she was interested in a Married man from the gym..<BR>"Well, I told you I was talking to them, at least i was being honest....doesnt that mean anything to you? honesty?"<P>She said " what would you rather me lie to you, and see someone behind your back? "<P>I told her "you didnt tell me anything....I FOUND OUT!!!!"<P>Then i said.. "I would rather you NOT do something, then do it and have to be honest with me"<P>It's that great???? LOL<P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Oh - I forgot about these:<P>"You keep accusing me of something I didn't do, I might as well do it"<P>"You believe what you want to believe - I am not having an affair"<P>"OM told me 'doesn't S&C know that his behavior is pushing you (my W) toward me (OM)"<P>"The problem isn't about OM, it's about the two people in the marriage" (and what about when one of them falls in love with someone else<P>Several weeks before the last quote she said, "I disagree with marriage counselor, we WERE happy before this happened. We just couldnt grow as individuals the way we were" (you mean you couldn't have EA with OM?)<P>After me telling her that I knew OM was in town a few weeks ago and telling her the hotel name, she denied it and told me she was never talking to me again because I wouldn't reveal my source. She then called me back an hour later demanding that I reveal my source.<P>I'm sure I'll think of more as time goes on - S&C<P><p>[This message has been edited by sadandconfused (edited May 09, 2001).]

Told you I'd come up with more:<P>When confronted about explicit email, she said, "It doesn't mean I'm going to act on it"<P>"Why don't you just give up? Can't you see your love is not wanted?"<P>When she told me that she changed cell phone bill from detail (list of all out going calls) to summary (just a list of total minutes), she said, "The detailed bill is just so bulky" (and revealing?)<P>When she called the other night to talk to kids, she said "Let me call back on my sister's phone with my calling card. I don't want to run up the minutes on my cell phone" (she has 2000 anytime minutes and 2000 weekend and evening minutes)<P>Said in response to my angry outburst about her affair, "I can't TRUST you that you are not going to try to take everything away from me" (where's the irony in that?)<P>S&C<P>[This message has been edited by sadandconfused (edited May 09, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by sadandconfused (edited May 09, 2001).]

Actually, one of my favorite memorable "quotes" came from the XOW via e-mail, asking if she and my H could still be "friends" after he moved back home. As one can imagine, my jaw literally dropped. I don't think that I have ever been asked such an inane question before in my life. I'm sure that she wanted it to come across as a harmless request, but what I interpretted it to mean was, "Can your H and I continue to rub salt in your wounds indefinitely, reminding you of the most painful event in your life - you know, the one that almost made you suicidal? Thanks!"<P>Grrrrr!<P>belld

Have you ever heard this one.<BR>When confront with the EA my STBX told me<P>"well you left the door open, what do you expect?"<P><P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by belldandy:<BR><B>one of my favorite memorable "quotes" came from the XOW via e-mail, asking if she and my H could still be "friends" after he moved back home.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oh, oh, oh, that reminds me of my W and her flash of brilliance on d-day... She asked me if it would be OK for her and OM to "continue" for a while longer, to "see" what develops... Where do they get this stuff from, anyway??<P>AGG

My WH has a Master's degree, now I know what's his major.<BR>He do just fine like other WS, plus some bonus points to get in honor roll:<P>"It's never her or my intention to hurt you" - They must did all the kissing and f***ing during their sleep walking then.<P>"She is not that kind of woman will be in a relationship knowing there is another woman" - Am I ever exist when she decise to sleep with my H ? Oh! No, I must did not born yet or she will never did that.<P>the best one yet<BR>"I just want a divorce that's not a crime" - Yes! that's the law maker's fault, baby. Sleep with a "female dog" is not a crime also. Feel up to it?<P>I think WS are all in very serious condition and need some medical treatment. Wonder when they will invent the drug to treat them. Money making opportunity!!!

AAG, re:<P>"Oh, oh, oh, that reminds me of my W and her flash of brilliance on d-day... She asked me if it would be OK for her and OM to "continue" for a while longer, to "see" what develops... Where do they get this stuff from, anyway??"<P>AAG, if I knew, I wish I could tell you. My H was under the impression that it was best to let the XOW down easy and continue contacting her, tapering off the contact, etc. Which, of course, only made things worse, not only for our marriage, but for the XOW. I'm sure that she knew what he was doing. It had to be rather obvious. I would feel far more offended as an OW if I knew that someone was gradually phasing me out than if they came clean and said, "Look, I'm back with my W. I can't talk to you anymore." <P>H also said something rather odd the other night - we were talking about sex and societal conditioning in the U.S. He said that sex wasn't a big deal in countries such as France and Italy, and that both spouses had lovers outside of the marital relationships. I pointed out that that, um, we didn't LIVE in France or Italy. To think that such behavior would wash in the U.S. would be like going to a region in India where cows are considered sacred, whipping out a big ol' hamburger and expecting that people won't be offended.<P>Aside from that, I've read many news articles about how the younger generations in certain European countries are now marrying strictly for love and are turning their backs on the way the older generations did things. To their minds, having a lover outside the marital relationship is antiquated and unacceptable.<P>belld

Driving back from lunch just now I remembered one from a week and a half ago:<P>In response to me telling her that I tried to give her everything she ever wanted, she said, "you only did those things to make yourself happy." (well duhhhhh, does she think I derive pleasure from doing things that make her angry?)<P>S&C<p>[This message has been edited by sadandconfused (edited May 09, 2001).]

I was told it is my fault that ex and OM are having problems, Also told her lawyer will take care of everything for me not to worry. One day when she came to get thing, i handed them out the door and she got upset because I didn't let her in, she said I would never do anything so low to you, right, she would just leave for OM.<P>

Hey, is there some handbook that my H got that a lot of people got as well? These are classic things that I heard too, during a time when "they had a love like no one else" GAG BARF. But, I love my husband now, he is home, we are together, psycho ho's do not exist, and I am Mike's Girl, again!

And now I will quote my H:<P>"WE ARE SEPARATED! WHAT I DO IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!!" (that was said from the first day he moved out..sorry, that I kicked him out).<P>"I didn't do any of this to hurt you. I did it for me."<P>"I will always care for you"<P>"I just don't know what I want"<P>"Everytime you talk about our situation, you just push me further away" (reality sucks, huh?)<P>"I need my space."<P>"There are some things I don't want to tell you, nor will I ever want to tell you. It's called privacy."<P>"I miss the kids, and hate not being there to put them to bed at night, or see them when they wake up in the morning." (Then why did you want to leave them in the first place?)<P>"I'm not the same person I was when we first met." (me neither! go figure!)<P>And the one that gets to me the most:<P>"If we were meant to be together, then things would just always be good."<P>Karen<BR>

Oh! I forgot one! In reference to his EA before we started living apart:<P>"I thought it would help our marriage".<P>????? <P>Karen<BR>

Karen, OMG!<P>RE: "'WE ARE SEPARATED! WHAT I DO IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!!'" (that was said from the first day he moved out..sorry, that I kicked him out)."<P>I thought for the longest time that I was the ONLY one to whom this had happened. My H did the same thing, said the same thing to me. Of course, as soon as he left - oops, after I "kicked him out," he was with the XOW. Coincidence? You do the math. That still drives me batty. Because for the longest time, my H had me confused as to what exactly was going on. It was only through counseling that I finally came to terms with the fact that he left to go boink someone else at his leisure.<P>belld<P>

belled,<P>You know what? All it is is their rationalization for what they are doing. If in their minds, they think that they are no longer married, then it's 'ok' to have sex with OW. WHATEVER!!!<P>(personal note to self: I really ought to find some info on what is required to be legally separated... b/c until that actually happens, you're still married, right?)<P>Karen<BR>

Karen,<P>It differs from state to state. In Texas, there is no such thing as legal/formal separation. You file for divorce and two months later (I think it's two months, maybe it's three, I forget), you get your divorce. If the couple choose to live apart, they are "separated," but not "legally" so. Which makes it very difficult for women w/ children who have Hs who leave them; in order to get spousal support or child support, they literally are forced into divorcing their spouse. Make sense? I would imagine that in order to be separated in any state, legal papers must be drawn up. I cannot see that a spouse could just walk out - that would be considered abandonment, but not a legal separation.<P>Just my guess. Look in your state's statutes in the Family Code. <P>belld