After receiving Email and talking to the Elders from our church, my WH is not going to repent and come home, he told them he loved his life now, without me and our kids so he filed for divorce. <P><BR>I first Emailed and told him that was not what I wanted, since he made it out to be my fault and that it was what he wanted, and I told him we were a family and God hated Divorce and wanted us together, but I got no response.<P>So today, after much prayer and agony, I sent him an Email and told him to file to my lawyers office and I would grant him his last choice, after telling him that the past 15 mths have not been about me anyway, it has been all about his choices. So as the submissive wife I am abiding by his wishes. (He always said I wasn't submissive) <P>He will be receiving church discipline, excommunicated from our church body, and released out of God's protection. It has been extremely hard on our Elders and church as WH was at one time a highly respected and thought of deacon. They couldn't believe he would do this. (Neither did I) This action frees me up to marry again, so I feel like progress is being made. Once I came through the initial reality and pain, I realized that he wasn't going to change and didn't want to change, he loves his sin too much, and I really knew I couldn't trust him if he came home again because he has not repented. He has no idea what horror is ahead for him, but I will continue to pray for him that he gets restored to the Lord.<P>I must move on with a new life and outlook, learn from this experience and know that bad choices affect so many innocent people.<P>Hope you all understand and can relate, appreciate any thoughts??? SEF

yes the bad choices do effect many and the ws has no idea how many they effect and hurt, if they knew how they hurt people, I don't think they would do it. Yes it is normal for them to blame us for everything, that justifies there choices and releases them of quilt. You are wise to move on and take care of yourself, but I suggest that you still Plan A. and work towards forgiveness, be ready if and when the fog lifts to help him get back on track. I believe god will deal with his heart in time and he will repent.

SEF,<P>I am so sorry but I you have most likely come to the correct conclusion.<P>The way you described your church, makes me wonder what church do you go to<P><BR>Your H sounds a great deal like mine, except mine has waffled so much he has just hurt us all more, I am beginning to wish I had ended it a year ago, but I cannot change the past, I can only deal with future.<P>know that you, your family, (I think boys) are in my prayers.<P><p>[This message has been edited by sing (edited May 09, 2001).]

SEF I have answered my H with the same things you said when he has asked for me to agree to a divorce. I've gone thru it with him twice this month- the first time he actually filed on me then cancelled the papers the next day. Then last wk he brought it up again and changed his mind the next day. We too go to church every wk. Raising 3 kids in our faith. Satan likes to return to familiar targets. Has your H thought on Proverbs chapters 5,6, and 7? Matthew 19 and Ephesians 6? I told my H I wont file on him because its against my religious beliefs but that if he files he better look for an apt ASAP as my attorney will have him out in wks. He then said, " I'm not ready to find an apartment yet! I said if I were you I'd be more worried about my PERMANENT home!!" GEESHH! What ARE they thinking?????lifeismessy

Thanks to all of you who have replied. We go to a non=denominational church, just preach straight from the bible. Has a baptist feel to it, with lots of contemporary praise music and etc. Satan is really attacking our church, just got word on the prayer chain that our main pastor's wife was admitted to the hospital with severe depression, this is second time in one month. Satan has used this to get her husband out of the pulpit. So many of our families have been destroyed by adultrey just in the last year, some are restored but most are not. I have tremendous faith and know that my God is in control and knows the outcome of this horrible nightmare, but it is so hard to believe that my WH cannot see the "light" and ask for God's forgiveness and repent. So many things have been brought up in scripture that has me to question, whether he really was a christian anyway. We are studying 1 John and it has been awesome. I will continue to pray for him and all the other WS on this site, as Satan is powerful and preying on all of our families. I can rest in the assurance that whatever happens with this "Divorce" that GOd can turn something so horrible into something so good. I do believe that MY GOD has better things in mind for my children and me, Satan has better things in mind for my WS I am afraid, but it was his choice. GOd Bless all of you for your support and encouragement!!! Love SEF

SEF,<BR>Sorry to hear the D is on the way!<BR>You have done a great job as a faithful wife.<BR>Sometime I just can not believe the WS can not see what they are trying to lose. <BR>The D is on the way now, but as so many of us here experienced-what happen if he puts it off? Will you take him back if he willing to come back to you and the kids?<BR>Think it through, it is your final act in this stage, you have been on the stage for 15 month - make it a right ending for you and your kids!<BR>But doesn't matter what your decision will be, the Lord will be on your side.