MY H (ws) actually asked me if i would have married him knowing all the crap he put me through?<BR>How am i suppose to answer that?<BR>"crap" is his word not mine<BR>Well, He shouldn't ask that if he was afraid of the answer<P><BR>i told him no....<BR>

=<p>[This message has been edited by GraceLeigh (edited June 01, 2001).]

No. My H would never ask me anything like that. He doesn't really ask about my frame of mind or what I'm thinking about or feeling. Actually, he never did, not even in the courtship phase. <P>I don't believe that I've ever told him anything like that, but I may have said it to him when I was angry. Certainly there were many times when I *wanted* to tell him. And certainly it's the way I feel. I mean, who *wouldn't* want to do it all over with another person who didn't treat us this way? But that would be assuming that I had never met my H or fell in love with him. I do think about how things would have been different had I met and married someone else. Most all of the men in my life before my H were much more empathetic and compassionate. Not to say that they would never stray, but I think that if they did, they would have shown a lot of contrition.<P>belld

Once<P>Yes mine did ask me that in almost those exact words.<P>I told him that I wasnt sure. That we had some really good times and that we were good together but the pain of his A was a big negative. The best answer I could give was I am not sure.<P>Then I turned the question back to him and of course he said he would. How else was he to respond?<P>This has been about 2 months ago and I have been thinking lately about this question. We are in recovery (I think) and I have been thinking of telling him that I would have. <P>I would like to renew our vows if we ever get strong enough again. I havent worn my wedding ring and would like a new one as to the old one symbolic comittiment seems broken.<P>

My H has not asked me that, but I did tell him.<P>I said if I knew what the future held, I would not marry him again, but we already are married and I felt trapped, like I didn't have a choice about it. I told him I wanted the choice again to marry him or not.<P>This was not said in anger, but it is how I felt for 2 years.

thanks all for your replies.<BR>has WS's ever asked you?<BR>and also how did your spouses respond when you gave your answers?