I have heard twice this week how happy the WS is with the OM, it really gets me down when I here this stuff, it just doesn't seem there is an end in site. I don't think they could be that happy under the circumstances, but then maybe they are. It is interesting because they have both left a marriage to be together. I wonder what effect there is on them when both are betrayers. Which one will, return to the BS first. I wonder what do they have working against them. I wonder how two people could hurt so many others. I wonder how they can look at each other knowing what the other is. Do they see it, or is the fog that thick?

the fog is that thick<P>you know soulmates, they can't see anyone else, as long as they are happy, the rest of the world should be too.

They can't possibly be happy, it is just another lie. There is no trust in that kind of relationship and never can be. They are trying to convince themselves they are happy. Just wait and see who gets the last laugh when all the baggage from both marriages hits them at the same time. God will not allow true happiness in these situations, even if they say they have it. Enjoy your freedom and know that you will get the last laugh!!! SEF

Jabber,<BR>My situation is similar to your's. The OW fill for D 2 month ago which is 6 month after she get married( I was at the wedding) and want my H divorce me in order for them to be together. I told my WH that what they feel for each other is not the true feeling. <BR>Of course they feel so "in love", because they can prove how great their love is for each other by divorcing their spouse. So, in their head they keep feeding themself - if she /he willing to give up the marriage for me, she/he must love me so much. But what will happen when the spouse is gone, what are they going to use then to prove their "love"?<BR>My WH also tell me that he have to make a decision fast or she won't be there for him because she is not that kind of woman will be in the relationship knowing there is another woman. Two things sounds funny from that. <BR>First, so, if he doesn't divorce me then the love is not love anymore for her? My feelings for my WH never changed even after theD-day. Second, Doesn't she get in to our relatioship first and know there is another woman( do I ever exist in her eyes?)What kind of woman does she thinking she is anyway?

Jabber<P>Their relationship is founded on lies and deceit. Even if they think that they are so in love they are not living in the real world on a day to day basis.<P>I dont think that they will ever be totally secure in their relationship with one another with the wondering thought of well he or she could do it with me to the BS what will keep them from doing it TO ME?<P>You can bet I told my H that while he was in the midst of an affair. I told him that he couldnt imagine the hurt he has caused and if he was going to go and make a life with her I wondered how long it would be before he got bored with her and did it again. or better yet, when she got tired of him and she'd do it to him cause she already has done it once or more, then he'd understand the pain.<P>BTW my father in law also told him that if it were him he'd always have to wonder about the OW's character and committment. Score one for the home team.<P>My friend's h left her for the OW and she tells me that they never let the other out of their sight and appear to be constantly concerned about the other's faithfulness.<P>But yes, unfortunately the fog is that thick. I think a better term is selfishness cause nobody's needs/wants are as important as their own.<P>Hang in there jabber, keep up with your plan and the fog will eventually lift. My H is back home and he was in deep.

Yes the fog is that thick. The grass is greener, etc...<P>But wait 'til reality hits. The laundry, the dirty dishes, childcare, insurance, taking out the garbage, leaving dirty clothes laying around, putting up with someone else's s***. <P>They may not be trying to convince you of their happiness as much as they're trying to convince themselves. And ZZZ4991 is right. They don't trust each other. Trust is a very important part of any relationship. Having been the OW, I know. It won't last and if it does, there will always be doubts. <P>Hang in there jabber.