My W (WS) says she is "trying." She has been out of the house for nearly two months and it has been 6 weeks since PA d-day. She says no contact since then, which I tend to believe.<P>Here is what she told me yesterday:<P>She needs to "figure out what i'm doing, what's stopping me from coming back right now."<P>She say she doesn't want to feel like she is "giving in."<P>That it has to be the right thing for both of us.<P>She says she misses me and loves me but needs to make <BR>sure she understands what happened so it won't happen again. That we BOTH need to make sure it is fixable.<P>She asked me if I still thought it (M) was fixable---<P>Hello? Is my answer any different than the other dozens of times she has asked me that? Why would I still be here? Of course that's what I think.<P>Anyone experience similar reluctance from their WS? Do I keep up the patience and continue to give her time? <P>She asked if we were OK for right now and if I can continue to stick with things the way they are for now. <P>Do I have a choice? Well I s'pose I do, but it's not one I want to make right now. <P>Any thoughts? <P>

As you can see from my other posts, I too am in the same situation as you. I have heard the same things, but I realized that it is the WS total choice to either change and want to fix the marriage or not. We BS cannot force or make them change. So I now, just put the choices back on my WH, telling him that I never had a choice in any of this nightmare ever, all were his. SOmetimes, by doing that we relieve ourselves of the responsibility and put it totally on them so it frees us up, plus it really makes them think more. Just remember, it is not about you, it is about her choices!!! Just pray for her decisions!

Elad,<BR>6 weeks from D-day is a short time. Do you think she is still in the stage of withdraw?<BR>Give her a reason to want to come home. You can not make a decision for her, but you can pave the road for her and see if she is willing to take it. Are you plan-Aing? I think it will be the perfect plan for your situation.<BR>Good Luck!

I am trying very hard to Plan A and the road is paved as best as I can.<P>Thanks for the encouragement.