I have sent emails to an aol member who i feel has had an affair with my husband. When I check status it always says "not read yet" Somehow I feel that my husband is reading them sent by her. He has a internet address at work (not aol) and so does she at her work place. Could she be transferring somenow those emails to him or he is getting them from her aol address himself? Her aol is her home computer. Somehow I feel he is knowing what I am sending to her but status keeps coming up 'Not read<BR> " I know the address is correct. Any info on that? Thanks

You shouldn't be e-mailing the OW...<BR>...it is not to your advantage.<P>Start on a better Plan A...<BR>Check out my post... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

HI Chardondeere,<BR>why are you e-mailing the OW? What is it you want to accomplish by doing this?<BR>I see you are frustrated since it is not going how you planned. Please follow NSRs link and read the Harley info on this site. It will give you some excellent tools to work with for your marriage.<BR>The e-mailing is not a good tool for many reasons. You are not getting the confirmation you want, you are love busting, the focus is on OW instead of the marriage, etc.<BR>(((((hugs))))) cl<BR>

Hi Chardondeere,<P>Please focus on what you have control over and what you are concerned about. Your marriage. While this is an obession with most of us at the beginning, it eventually wears out because they are somewhat human and have their good and bad and bad points. Anyway our mates also share the guilt of being out there. No one is forcing them to have their share in the A. <P>Please reveiw the basic concepts at this website and look up to post to all newcomers showing up sometime tonight. <BR>It will send you to helpful sites, writeups, questionnaires, direct you to some good books and offer you phone counseling. <P>Reading posts here are helpful, since many of us have gone through what you are going through and can help you avoid some of the pitfalls that come with the territory. <P>Please take care and refocus. Your marriage and your well being depend on it. <P>L.<BR>

Thanks to all who replied about the emails to OW. I do feel my husband is really showing"wear" This is all getting to him. He knows I don't believe him but he keeps saying hes innocent. I was hoping he would tell me not only because of quilt but because the OW was being bothered. Your probably right, i will focus on marriage and its hard to drop stuff and move on.