I have two items in my possession, which I am trying to decide on what to do with. I'd like some advice from all of you out there please (grin).<P>Item #1: one pair of women's size small bikini underwear<P>They were only just found by me the other day in the family mini van... shoved in the compartment under the passenger seat. NOTE: I do not know who they belong to. They would have had to have been put there before H and I started living apart (he hasn't had access to the mini-van since then). I have already asked him where they came from, and got the usual, "I don't know" response.<P>Okay.. what do I do with Item #1: Burn them? Return them to H? or just toss them in the garbage?<P>Item #2: one sympathy card from OW #1 (Kym).<P>For those of you who don't know a bit of my background, Our first son, Andrew, passed away on Sept 11, 2000. Kym attended one of the viewings with her H, and sent us a sympathy card (she HAD been a friend of mine for over 2 yrs). I will be creating a book of memories in honour of Andrew, in which I will be including all of the sympathy cards we received.. except that one!<P>Okay.. so what do I do with Item #2?: Burn it? Return it to Kym in the mail (with a short post it note on it saying I only accept cards from 'friends')? or just toss it in the garbage?<P>All suggestions are more than welcome!<P>Karen<BR>

My opinion is none of the above. I'd keep anything that you find just in case you need it for legal purposes in the future. That all depends on your situation, but if there is any chance of any kind of dispute regarding custody, adultery, etc. down the road, it is better to have evidence.<P>Just my opinion.<P>

Take a photocopy of the card. Then return the card with the underwear inside stating I found this in our van, I assume they belong to you, and I am returning your card because I don't believe you have any sympathy for me or my situation as you obviously can not think of anyone but you.<P>LOL if they are not her's Hubby will have some explaining to do. If they are her's she should be embarassed.<P>I am sorry to hear of your loss.

I can assure you, they are NOT hers... (she couldn't fit her fat [censored] into them if she greased herself up like the pig she is - ok.. I've got a LOT of bitterness to work through..LOL).<P>Unfortunately, that means the undies belong to someone else.<P>I should also add, that I don't think there is any need to build up 'evidence' against H. I was talking to a (soon to be) lawyer friend of mine, and she explained to me, that if we end up filing for an uncontested divorce, that type of information is fairly irrelevant. All the court will care about is the wellbeing for the kids.<P>Karen<BR>

Hi Topie,<P>Given your last post, my advice would be to burn them along with anything else of the same type that causes you pain. I've done this quite a few times and it actually made me feel a bit better at the time.<P>Returning them would let the OW know that she still has some control in your life, and simply throwing them in the trash is so unsatisfying.<P>Just a thought.<P>Peppermint