I was going to title this, "Run-in or run-over, which is worse?" but the answer would be obvious.<P>Just a few minutes ago I was out front with the dogs when I saw OM drive by as he usually does on Saturday mornings to pick up his younger daughter. His family still lives on the cul-de-sac at the end of our street. I don't think he saw me.<P>Maybe I shouldn't have, but I took the dogs into the street, knowing he'd be back by in a minute, and forcing an encounter to just see what he'd do. We haven't spoken since last July and he and my wife both deny their relationship. I was prepared to ask him if he was man enough to look me in the eye.<P>Sure enough, in a minute or two he was driving back down the street quite fast. He had to slow for me and the dogs, but he swerved around us - almost into my yard - and stone faced scowled "Watch it!" as he went by. If seen by the police, it would have easily qualified for reckless driving.<P>My immediate reaction was to think of calling my wife and asking her to pass on to her "friend" to not speed on our street and warn him that next time, I'll turn him in.<P>I decided to cool off and write to you instead. I'm already grinning about it.<P>All kinds of questions run through my mind. What is he afraid of? Why is he mad at me? Was I foolish to force the encounter? Should I mention it to my wife? To his wife? Would he have acted differently if his daughter wasn't in the car? Should I do it again? Will he tell my wife about it?<P>I admit, it was fun. I've been having this temptation to mess with his head. I know I shouldn't.<P>I assume an adversarial confrontation would be a huge LB to my wife. Maybe even mentioning it to her would be. I know I'll see her tonight at <son's> baseball game. Maybe the best course is to see if she brings it up. BTW, it's our 17th anniversary today.<P>Reactions?<P>Dave (WAT)

HI Wat,<BR>what a great post for early sat am. I am still laughing-the visual of a crazy exOM driving onto lawns to stay far away from you and dog is too funny. Hope the car needs aligning.<BR>Happy Anniversary!<BR>Dont mention it to wife-it would be an LB on any day. If she brings it up, i would play it off. Somthing like gee, glad I have quick reactions because he sure drives fast! My advice is to keep it light.<BR>Have a great saturday, you are off to a good start.<BR>aloha, cl<BR>

I, too, am laughing at that visual! Guess you'll have to learn to do some fancy footwork to stay out of his way!<P>Sounds like a good way to start your day....<P>Hope it goes well at the baseball game tonight, and that your W accepts the anniversary card with the love that it is given with.....

Wow, I didn't think it was THAT funny. Maybe I described it too lightly. He tried to intimidate me! He could have slowed a lot earlier but he intentionally came close as if to provoke me. Next time I'll have a baseball bat.<P>CL - he's the current OM. Crazy, no, childish, yes.<P>Dave

Interesting and humorous story. What a jerk though. Glad you just wrote us instead of anything else. Maybe I should borrow the dogs. Good luck at the ball game.

Dave,<P>Don’t mention to your W. Good luck with the card. Wish it were a happier day for you.<P>Be careful, OM sounds wacky.<P>Why do I think next Sat will find you walking your dogs about the time OM comes driving down your st? But I keep seeing you pull the string (of course if you did it, it would be an LB, so say the dogs have been trained) for one of those spiky the police use to stop bad guys,<P>There is Dave, the dogs in the streets, for some reason Dave's dogs just like to do their business in the middle of the st, here comes OM, he sees Dave, time to play a little chicken, OM speeds up, Dave stands his ground, OM maybe a W stealer but even he draws the line at hit & run, he swerves, the dogs trip the wire, up pops the spikes, OM IS STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS IN DAVES YARD. Dave calmly asks if there is a problem. OM just sputters & drives his flat tired car off thumbing down the st to less hostile ground.<P><BR>

I love running into the OW - I look for her car, she still drives the car she used to screw my H in the back seat. I walk into Safeway and buy my groceries, I go into the mall and walk boldly up to the same till as she. <P>She gets just frazzled and start shaking - one time she started yelling at me about mall security - I calmly replied I have lived in this town for 20 years before you came along and I am going nowhere. If seeing the wife of the man you had cheap weekly sex with bothers you I suggest you move because I am going nowhere. <P>She said this is harrasment I said no this is the consequences of your own behaviours maybe you should consider whose husband you are screwing next time because I think you picked the wrong woman to cross this time. <P>I have always questioned why there is some rule about not contacting them or not speaking ot them, she entered my life without my permission so tell me why I need to hide my face in shame when I see her.<P>But don't talk to your wife about it, she never says anything to her husband or mine about it - I truly find that odd but whatever. I feel this is an issue between me and her and talking aoubt it to H is a LB - I am handling her my own way.

Hi WAT,<P>Funny story, how about this rendition of your account in your local paper?<P>Healines: Wild reckless Driver arrested for off the road driving in a cul da sac while trying to run over a man and 2 dogs. <P>Story:<BR>A lone, deranged and estranged man was arrested for reckless driving in a unseccessful attempt to run down a man and 2 dogs. This incident occured in a sururban cul da sac here in this normally quiet suburban neighborhood.<P>This man (whose name is being withheld) left tire marks on the lawn of the victim who was out for a 'casual morning stroll' with his 2 dogs. The victim (WAT) sustained minor scratches to his forarm and right knee when he had to dive into a neighbor's hedge to escape the 'crazy man'. According to witnesses, the dogs came to his aid and then tried to bite the tires of the car. One of the dogs missed the tires and ended up jumping in the rear passenger window. After a short tussle with the driver, the car came to a screeching halt and the dog jumped out. Then the 2nd dog proceeded to relieve himself on the front tire. The driver stepped out of his car, inspected the damages and continued on. <P>Police apprehended the driver 2 blocks away. This was not the first time this driver had attempted to leave skid marks on people's lawns in this neighborhood.<P>The Animal Humane Society activitists press charges for cruelity to the 2 dogs. Police are considering suspending his driver's license but the investigation is continuing since the man kept mumbling something about hating dogs. <P>We will update you as more news is revealed. <P>Your Local Paper People......<P> *******************************************<P>17 years. Wow Maybe you can tell your wife, you'd like to be able to give her another more romantic card next year also. Is that too forward or too soon? Well, I hope she likes the card. Have a good time at the game. <P>Seriously Dave, watch out. That man may try to do something crazier to you or your dogs. I don't think we want to get posts from you in the hospital. People in <BR>'denial' don't think too clearly. <P>Take Care,<BR>L. <P><BR>

You guys are toooooo much! <P>Well, nobody said I shouldn't have done it.<P>Seriously, can there be any value in this? I remember posting months ago that OM doesn't deserve any of my energy or time. I obviously contradicted that.<P>But, it seems he clearly can't face me, so I obviously have some emotional effect on him. Even in his deranged mind, this demonstrates that he knows he's screwed up and has to "attack" me to avoid whatever he's trying to avoid. What a small man. <P>I guess I should be encouraged that he is so immature and I have this power over him. Maybe that's what I was looking for in wanting to mess with his mind - to demonstrate my power. Is this revenge? I had thought I was above that. Revenge is selfish and I don't want to lower myself to his level.<P>Thought provoking and a learning opportunity for me.<P>Dave

Dave, of course nobody said you shouldn't have done it - we are all scholars of the MB school of "what's done is done, let's forgive and look to the future."<P>That said, I would recommend you avoid such confrontations in the future if you want your son to continue to have a father. People crazy enough to do what this man has done to your life might just be crazy enough to "accidentally" run you over.<P>(btw, do you think I could arrange for your OM to run over my slug?)<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Well, the ball game was uneventful. She didn't mention anything about the alien encounter and neither did I. I suspect OM didn't tell her yet. My guess is he won't, at least not truthfully.<P>Terri, I know you're right. But something inside me wants me to confront him. It's like I have to to make him know that I can stand up for myself. This is a big reversal of my feelings several months ago and maybe signals desperation on my part. It's like I have to exert some discomfort to him to make him pay some penalty. I guess previously I had the confidence to conclude that my wife was going to see the light and dump him - making him the big loser since he's already chucked his kids and his wife. Now I no longer have that confidence, so I need to inflict the pain. I hope I can rise above this.<P>Dave

I understand that desire - but you are right about the need to rise above it. Think of it this way: You give him POWER over you when you show him he gets to you. You'd probably scare the s**t out of him if you just smiled and waved from your doorway.<P>(I still wanna borrow him ... can you get him to do that trick down in Orlando FL?)<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

I disagree people, how is walking out in front of his car showing him that he has the power? Hiding in the bush afraid of seeing him shows him that he has the power, walking out in plain view, standing next to them at a till, showing up at the company party when you know they are there shows them that we are not ashamed and will continue to live in spite of them. <P>I said it before and I will say it again any chance I have to "run" into OW I am there because I WANT to be in her face, as she was once in mine, no longer will I cower in her presence, she is nothing to me and I will walk through the mall with pride.<P>You continue to cross the street in front of him and see how long it takes him to find a new "route" to pick up his children - these people are cowards, happy to sneak around behind the backs of others but not able to stand up to those they have crossed.

Hiya, WAT. I'm glad he missed you... <P>You asked a series of questions in your initial post...here are my opinion for what they're worth...<P>[Q]What is he afraid of?[/Q]<BR>Having to confront the fact of you. You know Who he is and what he has done. <P>[Q]Why is he mad at me? [/Q]<BR>Because you aren't just going away. That was part of the plan in his world: the betrayed families would just slowly sink into the west leaving him to ride off with his lover... You blew it for him!<P>[Q]Was I foolish to force the encounter?[/Q]<BR>IMHO, yes. What if he hadn't swerved? What if he had hit one of the dogs? Now, standing on the grass in front of your house, that I'm all for. Remind him of your continued existence on the planet. But don't make him interact with you. <P>[Q]Should I mention it to my wife? [/Q]<BR>Naw. Let this be between the two of you.<P>[Q]To his wife? [/Q]<BR>See above.<P>[Q]Would he have acted differently if his daughter wasn't in<BR>the car? [/Q]<BR>Gosh, she was in the car when he narrowly missed you? That's a pretty crumby role model... I don't think he would have hit you...but I'd worry about the dogs...<P>[Q]Should I do it again? [/Q]<BR>Naw. Don't play chicken with a turkey.<P>[Q]Will he tell my wife about it?[/Q]<BR>What's he gonna say? "Your H walked in front of me but I showed him!" I would bet not...but I wouldn't bet a lot.<P>Take care of yourself! These OP can be difficult to deal with, but you can do it!<P>All the best!<BR>--HBC

Thanks for the additional replys.<P>Regarding the power thing, yes, I will rise above this. I am on the moral high ground. I think the power shifts to whoever maintains emotional control. I was not violent - I intended a civil encounter. In that he reacted with violence means I have the emotional upper hand. 'Nuff said.<P>Terri - Orlando would be about far enough away. When you're don with him, send him to one of those nearby alligator parks with a chicken breast tied around his neck.<P>Speaking of chicken HBC, you got the best one-liner on this thread: "Don't play chicken with a turkey." Funny, but wise. I think next Saturday I'll get out my lawn chair and sit down by the curb with my coffee and paper. When he comes by I'll smile and wave.<P>Dave (WAT)