i am new here and need some advise. about 6 months ago my husband started chatting in online game rooms. he has got a lot of female friends and he talks to them EVERY night. i feel that he has more to say to them these days then he says to me. i confronted him on this several times and his only response it to tell me to back off. he has told several of them that he is unhappy in his marriage and that he is thinking about leaving me after 18 yrs. he wont show me what he talks about .. i am not accusing him of an affair but it sure looks funny to mne and our friends. i dont want to loose him but if he cant include me in his online family then it will end. please help if anyone can thanks<BR>

Please read this site carefully. All of it, just not the message boards, you can get great advice here but the most important & best advice are the sites.<P><BR>READ, READ, READ.<P>make an appointment with the Harley's.

daby,<P>not that I am able to give you much advice, but it sounds to me that your H is having some EA's (emotional affairs). He won't understand the concept of that, only you will, once you read up on them on here.<P>When you do, that's when you look into emotional needs (EN's).. yours and his. Once you're comfortable with understanding them, consider some Plan Aing.<P>Whatever you do in the meantime.. do NOT LB!! (love bust). It's a hard thing to do... but look up the info on it, and do your best to honestly recognize what you may be doing to push him away.<P>Take care,<P>Karen<BR>

Hi daby,<P>Weekends are REALLY slow around here... so don't worry if the responses are a bit slow coming in. It will pick up again on Monday.<P>You've received some thoughts about your particular situation already, and both replies make valid points and suggestions...<P>So, I will only add two links for you to read through before you begin the task of figuring this all out:<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi10_tour.html" TARGET=_blank>Tour of Marriage Builders</A><P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A><P>Please read them and learn about the MB principles and concepts. It will help alot as you begin to read more replies... <P>Best wishes as you begin this journey that none of us ever wanted to begin... but we ALL have.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck<p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited May 12, 2001).]

You might want to read my posting in the Forum section Plan A/Plan B - "Questions about ending the affairs", dated 5/6/01. My H had 10 affairs over the last 2 years with women he met on the internet. I'd be really worried if I were you too if he has been speaking mostly to women. <P>I would highly recommend that you read some of Dr. Harley's books. Starting with "Surviving an Affair" might be the most helpful because it lays things out pretty clearly. It sounds like you may have caught things before an affair starts. If this is the case you are very lucky. By following some of the Marriage Builders principles, you may be able to save your marriage before the damage of an affair occurs.<P>In my case I felt that I have the right to know what is going on in my life. So I found out. There are some pretty easy ways you can find out what he is up to so that you will know how to proceed. <P>I would be willing to pass some info on to you. It is too much to put in a post here. If you are interested, you may email me at zorweb@netscape.com. To maintain your privacy, you could create an email address that is specifically for this purpose. <P>E<BR>

this is so hard for me to do this alone but i got to keep my chin up. i just got an addy it is losingalove@hotmail.com i will try not to use any love bust till i read more<P>

Good plan daby!!<P>Learn to live this stuff!!<P>All is not lost!!<P>There is hope!!<P>Bill

hey zorweb i tried to send youa message in your email but it failed saee you all later<BR>

Looks like we are both having problems here. I've sent you email too and it's been returned. I think that here is an error in your email address above. <P>I know there is an error in my email address, that's why you have not been able to reach me. My correct address is<P>zorweb@netscape.net<P>that ".com" is such a habit that i mess up some times.<P>So try sending me an email and I can get yours off of the email header. <P>Hope all is going ok today.<P>E