What do you think the sucess rate is for a WS that divorces then marrys the OP?<BR><P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

BM, don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself here? (just kidding) I know where you're going with this and I don't think you need to worry just yet.<P>From what I've read, the success rate is seriously low because these relationships were founded on lies and deceit in the first place - not good odds if you ask me. Also, I think trust would be an issue.<P>Hang in there and take some deep breaths! {{{Hugs}}}

Heres a quote from an early post on this board:<P>It is rare that the betrayer marries op.. (10%), and of those about 75% fail very quickly.. For all those reasons Pittman stated in his book. I agree.. I know the stats can be off a little, but I know of a lot of affairs, and none of them ever amounted to anything.<P>Sounds reasonable to me, I mean the fact that the failure rate is so hight.<p>[This message has been edited by NeverAgain (edited May 14, 2001).]

In one of his books, Harley states the success rate in these types of relationships is only 25% (after 2 years I think) -- that's a whopping 75% divorce rate!

I have known many people who had affairs or were BS. Only 2 of those resulted in MP/OP getting married. In both instances the BS eventually threw the MM out. In one case the MM was an embarassing drunk who treated his family like dirt. He shaped up his behavior somewhat for awhile for the OW. After about a year he once again became an embarassing drunk who treated his former OW/new W like dirt and they got divorced. <P>The other case the MM had several affairs over the course of his marriage. When W finally tossed him he ended up with the OW of the moment. He had to go somewhere after all. He cheated on her a month before their wedding (as a matter of fact he called off the wedding to be with his new OW). They got back together and did get married. She told me he has had at least one other affair that she is sure of since their marriage and maybe more. I haven't seen them in awhile so I don't know if they are still together.

I wish these WS would recognize it. I know that my W and OM have talked about marriage. They seem to think that they have always been meant to be together. He has told her on numerous ocassions that she is the only woman he has ever truly loved and has loved her since they broke up in high school when he was a senior and she was a freshman over 21 years ago. I talked to my father in law last night. He said my W is in a little fantasy world. He sais OM has no faults because she has only really met him in person once since high school and over the phone he probably agrees with everything she says and therefore he is perfect. My FIL also told me that he will bet me a dinner any where I want that if they were to get married, they WILL get divorced. My FIL and MIL are absolutely disgusted with my W (their daughters) behavior. I wonder if she knew what the statistics were, if she wouldn't think twice about it. '<P>Now I have a question. How many of the WS/OP relationships think that they were always meant to be? Is that a typical trait of the affair?<P>S&C

Looks like what goes around comes around. Warms my heart... (yes I'm being evil). You are right that deceipt and infidelity are a bad foundation for a marriage.<P>E<P>

Bioman,<P>I agree with the figures that Pittman gives. I know of only one marriage that resulted from an EMR (she was married, he single). Whether it works out remains to be seen, because they haven't been together that long at all. I would think that most EMRS that result in divorce do *not* end up with the WS marrying the OP. I can see the divorced WS dating the OP for a while and the relationship dissolving after a year or so, after the WS has had his/her ego built back up and feels in the "conquering life" mood.<P>My first H had a separated MW on the side during our entire marriage. They kept seeing each other for awhile after I divorced him, but shortly after the divorce, he gave her the shove and ended up marrying someone else a year later after dating around.<P>belld

I agree with you, Belld. I've heard many stories about the WS waiting for OP and some even leaving their marriages, only to have OP find someone else and give them the heave-ho.<P>In moments of sanity (which were fleeting during my A) I realized that if OM and I had gotten together, I could never have trusted him. There would be pretty good odds that once the novelty wore off with me, he'd be out trying to bag someone else.<P>Just my 2 cents.