You are my true heros. <BR>I know that really sounds corny, but it is true.<P>Me and my STBX have no kids(thank GOD)<P>And I am and have been in so much pain over this that sometimes it is unbearable. I could not imagine going through this with children.<P>Just Know that Many People look up to you.<BR>Thank you for being a role model for strenght.<P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Thankyou Bioman!<P>It IS tough trying to support your kids when you are drowning yourself. You are tired, you have no patience and there you are trying to deal with demands from your children, and their schools/clubs every day, when all you want to do is to go back to bed and cry! At this time of year, with the end of school looming, sports days, parties, registering for new schools etc., it's doubly difficult to cope. My eldest daughter hasn't done her homework in weeks, she's late for school most days (if I can manage to get her there at all) and I just think 'What the hell - I've got more important things to worry about'. I don't think it makes me a bad Mother - I'm just trying to survive, and at this point in time, my needs and my kids needs come way ahead of nagging them to get their homework done!!<P>thanks again,<BR>Paint

My little guy has been to the gates of hell and back--I am trying to save him from being the victim of a broken home now. I keep thinking--would I be as willing to save this marriage if we didn't have a child together? I don't know. But we do, and I want my little boy to be happy, I want him to have a father. No, not just A father, HIS father.<P>I look to all of you without children--I think you all have just as much courage to save your marriage, just for the reasons of love and being together.

When I was a child I lived through being there during an affair. First of all my father had a PA with another woman and then my mother had an EA with another man. This made life as a child EXTREMELY difficult.<BR> Now as an adult I am experiencing my W having an EA. I am trying to protect my kids as best I can. It is extremely difficult to go through day to day life and not involve them into what is going on. Both my W and I do not want any of our 3 kids to become involved. <BR>

I have 3 kids here (and one in heaven), and I consider myself so fortunate, in that they are all so young. They don't understand much of what's going on. The oldest is going to be 2 on May 29th, and although he knows that 'daddy' is only here the odd time, I don't think he really remembers when he was here ALL the time. The other two boys are the twins, they are only 12 weeks old. So they don't even know 'daddy' anyways. ( I had kicked H out of the house 11 days before they were born.. by emergency c-section one month early I might add... I guess I physically succombed to stress. But they were and are just fine! grin)<P>I'm sure they are all able to sense my ups and downs, because I know I can see them in my attitudes around the house. I don't explain to my kids specifically why I'm sad, but I do tell them that I am sad b/c daddy has done some things that have made me feel that way, and I miss him (I work it in as part of my apology to them if I get frustrated or cross too).<P>If anything, I look at my kids as my hope for carrying on well from day to day. No matter how down I am, they always make me smile. I'll admit, evenings are difficult, because I have less to do by then, once the kids are in bed for the night.<P>IMO though, I think it's easier with kids. To be quite honest, if they weren't around, I don't think I would have the energy to bother with saving my marriage at all. <P>So Bioman, I commend YOU! grin.<P>Karen<BR>

Bioman-<P>Thanks so much for your kind words!<P>In my case my kids and the ow's kids were good friends. We WERE all good friends-notice the magic word.<P>The OW had to set out to destroy my happy life-one I worked very hard to find and hold on to.<P>My kids-just like everyone else's-have really had to take it in the shorts-so to speak.<P>But I am sure glad I have them-if I didn't I am afriad I would have ended my life.<P>God bless you.................<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."