Some of you may have read some of my previous posts where I disussed how strongly I feel that we, as BS's have an obligation as human beings to notify the spouse of the OP if their spouse or our spouse are unwilling to. I have 2 OW's H who needed to know. One of them has been informed by his W. He called me recently and we were able to talk a little bit. He felt so betrayed to be the last one to know and that it took so long for him to find out. Now atleast he has a chance to pick up the pieces and figure out what went wrong and attempt to salvage their family. There were moments where I had regrets while I waited to see what he would do after he found out. Those moments were short lived and I am so grateful that God gave me the courage to do the right thing. Our society has become so self centered. When I read that people choose not to tell so that they don't LB their WS that just blows my mind. My H is gone right now and OW's H was very honest in that he felt like he would become violent towards my H is he sees him. Whatever the consequences we have to pay, we will pay them gladly. You can't go through life doing people wrong and then just walk away as if you never touched their lives. we spoke a little on the phone about the suffering we experience as BS's. The anxiety, the obsessive thoughts, etc. So he knows that he is not alone. Well, one down and another one to go. It is an awesome feeling to know that you've taken a risk and in so doing retained your honor and integrity.

As a BS I can tell you that I wish someone would have told me sooner. I told the OW's H in my case too because I felt like part of the lie to him. <P>His wife and my H carried on for three months after D-day behind his back while he was working on fixing his marriage and it drove me insane. I finally told him because omission is the excuse WS use and I won't be part of that game.

I know it is extremely risky to do so, what if OW's H decided it was over? That would leave OW more free to pursue your husbands! So that was REALLY RISKY!<P>Glad that you both feel better, and I think that it is probably the route I would take as well.

I've never run across a BS who was GLAD that noone told them about "it". I wish everyone who knew in my case had. I certainly would!<P>Snow

trustntruth<BR>I was not at all concerned about the risk of OW being free to pursue my H. I was however concerned that OW's H might kill my h or destroy his career or something along those lines. If my H wants another woman in his life he just needs to let me know, and I'll step aside. I'll go to their wedding. I was ready to divorce after discovery. My husband expressed such deep remorse and pain that I knew I had to attempt to salvage my broken marriage.

Hello Broken,<BR>(((((((((hugs)))))))))<BR>You did a great thing broken. I am glad it turned out good for all concerned at this point. <BR>Aloha, cl