I stopped by my WH's office today - to give him a letter from my doctor so that he can get a refund on my flight back to England. Anyway, he had his e-mail inbox up on the computer screen and it was 95% e-mails from the OW!! - she must be mailing him 5 or 6 times a day!! When he noticed that I was staring at it, he switched the screen off. I didn't love-bust, but broke down in tears when I got back to my car. I knew that they were still in contact via e-mail, but I didn't realise that it was to this extent!<BR>I am now wondering if her husband knows of this? I have found out what his hotmail address is - do you think I should e-mail him and let him know? Even though I know this would be a MAJOR lovebuster for my WH?<P>Honestly it made me feel dreadful - all those 'Good Morning', 'Good afternoon', 'Have a Great Day' subject headings were just too sickly. How on earth can this woman act so cheerful, as though nothing is wrong - when there are two small children crying their eyes out every day and having nightmares because of her - oh, I wish she'd just go and walk under a bus, I really do

NO!<P>That would be a reaction. Put it in a journal, and when things are all the way in recovery, take out a page at a time and tell him how it made you feel.<P>TnT

Just curious, could you possibly foward her email from his account to her H with that website mentioned earlier? If it could be annonymous or show your H addy, that would be OK. <BR>I know how it hurts to realize there is so much contact. My H worked with his EA OW and so email was never a factor. I had his password but nothing ever was in the account from her. <BR>Maybe this will help him stop contact in the long run, when you can talk about it with him. You are in my thoughts. L

I ditto what lad says about possibly letting her H know - in my case I made copies of the emails I found and I told OW if she contacted my H again that I would send the copies to her H. I don't like using threats, but it worked so far - make copies and keep them if you ever need them. In my case, OW was also married and both of us have children -didn't seem to matter to her! She told my H she didn't want her H to find out about A in fear she would lose her children, yet she didn't care about calling our house, hanging up on my d's - which verified their suspicions their d was having an A - they have been in counseling ever since. She is such a caring Mom, huh????!!!!<BR>Make records for yourself. Have you asked H not to contact OW??? <BR>S

If you are into recovery (Define that one!!! I have my own theory) - then there should be a commitment to the basic concepts, which includes no agreement unless it is a joint agreement, rule of honesty, no lovebusters, meeting each others emotional needs - rule of protection, then he has violated the basic concepts.<P>But, if you are not in recovery - then I would journal until it was a safe SAFE SAFE SAFE SAFE time to address these issues. Otherwise, you are lovebusting. (WS defines lovebusting.... - same as BS defines affairs....)