Bioman,<P>I think that it's time to move on when it becomes obvious that the other spouse, be it the WS or BS, is unwilling to work *with* the other spouse to better the marriage, instead allowing it to slide back into the same state of disarray. Why do they not do this? I don't know. I can think of only one reason: they absolutely do not care, and therefore, are not willing to put out the effort.<P>I use this analogy: Suppose you and your spouse agree to build a house together. You have certain skills - laying the foundation, putting up the walls and plastering them, etc. But your spouse has skills that you lack, such as laying bricks and putting on the roofing. These are things that because of your lack of skills cannot do - and if you attempt them without training, they will be amateurish. The house will not be a strong one. Now suppose your spouse renigs on his/her agreement to help build the house. What do you have, then? A foundation. Some walls. Maybe a driveway. But the house will never be complete until your spouse brings his/her particular talent to the table to work *with* you.<P>One person alone cannot save a floundering marriage anymore than they can build that house all by themselves. If you don't have your spouse's cooperation and willingness to work right along side you, there is no marriage. There is no "oneness." There are only two people, one of whom has rebuilt the walls only to find him/herself beating his/her head against them.<P>belld
