I'm in month two of plan b. Absolutely no contact with WS. At this point, I'm not sure if I really love my H or if I'm just comfortable with him or if I just don't want the OW to have him? I know a part of me will always love him, but how much pain can one inflict on another? I know I'm not ready to let go completely either. What is the longest "successful" plan b that you know of? Any thoughts about whether I may be losing the love I have for my WS?

I dont know that I am the longest, and I didnt do a formal plan B, but he left and did not contact me so it was close. Any way we went 4 months with no contact, and today we are in recovery. I think those feelings of wondering if you want him back or not are normal. And a good thing that you are getting stronger and know you will be OK either way. <P>Sometimes I swear the reason they want to come back is because they sense that we are nearing the end of our waiting for them.<BR>Lora

I ended things after Plan 'A'ing for a month. But the good part was that she was the one that was crying. In that respect, Plan A was successful for me, it gave me strength and showed her what she was losing, a good and loving person.<P>I think she believes that I will take her back, but at this point, I just can't see it. Some may call this Plan 'B'. I know the concept is to start Plan B to 'preserve the love that the BS has for the WS', but I just don't see it. I'm moving on, but I expect that at some point she will come crawling back. Plan B has cemented my decision to get on with things. In a way, your own head clears and you wonder, 'why the heck would I ever take her back after all that has happened?', and yes, you can find someone out there that will fulfill all your needs without cheating on you. In a way, I feel sorry for my WS, she's just lost and has made the worst mistake of her life. Keep your chin up and look at things objectively, but never burn a bridge because you just never know......

Living with memories:<P>I'd suggest that you talk with Steve Harley if you want a good cross-section of the length of successful plan B's. I know of a few that have gone over a year.

Maybe Lostva has? Or, did she just do a long Plan A?<P>I didn't get to the point of Plan B (almost though). How long did you Plan A? Since you are already in Plan B, has your H attempted to contact you in any way?<P>