Just had to share. Last night I "dragged" my hubby out to spend time with some old friends and we had a really great time. He even thanked me for it!! He actually put his ring back on before the outing and hasn't taken it off yet (not sure if he forgot, doesn't care, or was looking for an excuse to put it back on).<P>Last night / this morning were great. He started his job the other day so that makes him happy and I think that is helping him get over his "trapped/dependent on me" feelings.<P>The only bad thing that happened last night was that he got real silent and I asked what he was thinking and he just said "bad thoughts" (meaning OW), so we quickly changed the subject and started talking about other stuff. It helped - I think.<P>OW is still gone for another couple of weeks, but will be back soon. I am still agonizing over that one. Just wish my husband would agree to give this marriage his all and try to get back what we had. I haven't brought up the "no contact" letter just yet, I am waiting until just before she gets back. It's impossible for him to have contact with her now, but in a few weeks, (I have to do it for my sanity)...<P>Oh well, I know I'm up for another bad day in a day or two (it cycles like that constantly, good day, bad day, good day, bad day). SO, I figure I'll just live today up while I can. No kids around, just me and him having fun and trying to keep OW off both our minds.<P> <P>

Hello HBH,<BR>Go girl!!!!!!<BR>Glad you had a good time. The cycles between good and bad days get better with time. Be patient. <BR>aloha, cl

Hi HBH,<P>Glad to hear about your good evening. So whose to say that cycle of g/b/g/b can't be changed to g/g/g/g..... There is always hope. <P>Have a nice day. <BR>L.

Thanks for the good wishes! The ring ended up coming back off about 30 minutes after I finished posting my first message, oh well...<P>Most of the day went pretty well until we decided to go out to eat and we passed by this place where H and OW had played mini-golf. Of course he had to tell me all about it and it really upset me (that's what we did on OUR first date). I guess it's good he wanted to talk... At least he didn't get all depressed afterwards like he usually does when he thinks about OW.<P>He was actually in a pretty good mood all day, but I just got really sad and couldn't shake it off. I don't even know why really, I should have been real happy. I think it was just the subtle things (not holding my hand, me thinking about OW, etc) that got to me. I guess the good part is that he did offer (and followed through!) to hold me and cuddle me to make me feel better. Which it did of course.<P>I do have a question for you guys/girls out there: How do I actually have a good time when I'm so sad inside? I think about OW constantly, it drives me crazy!! I try to Plan A and be happy and act like things are great (so he'll want to stay and make our marriage work), but it feels like I'm living a lie. I just want to be happy and enjoy my time that I get to spend with my H while I have it, but I just find it more and more difficult (he LB's alot without meaning to). <BR>How do others do it? I hate to break down and cry and show my H that I am miserable because, believe it or not, that's an LB for him. It makes him real sad for hurting me and makes him start to believe I'd be better off without him, yada, yada, yada.<P>Oh well. 7 days since last contact with OW and still counting...

Wow, that "bad day" came up on me pretty quick. My H gets home from working 3rd shift today (5:30am) and finds out how I hardly got an sleep (again). I tried to pretend like my night went great, "oh yeah, I got plenty of sleep", but I wasn't going to lie when he started to ask details "how much", oh "2 whole hours" I say, etc.<P>So, I could tell this REALLY upset him and he says "Oh well, you won't have to worry about that. We can't go on like this much longer." I ask what he means and he just says he needs to take off to go to the gym. But I KNOW what he means, that he's going to leave soon and that will make everything magically all better. Like he's doing ME a favor! ARGH!! After we had such a nice weekend too... <P>Great way to start a Monday, huh?