Amazing!
intersting to read my own post form last year -- I just made a post on the emtotional needs board that answers soem of these questions. I might add that from what I have read the secrecy of the SA life is a part of the charge or the fix so to speak. I have not seen, nor heard from from BrokenX or PlainJane, but they know the score. There were a couple others that used to post to me & one thing you have to be very careful is that with the sexaholic, like any dependency or addiction, they do not want to break it -- it is like water to a tree for them, so the traditional Plan A stuff will not likely bring them to any recognition to seek help & you may end up being an enablier -- delicate tight rope to provide safe pace for healing, but at the same time help them recognise or come to grips with their dicease. As you can tell from my post, I have not found the magic key yet -- there is a support group, just like alanon that helps the co-dependent, or co-addict deal with this and focus on themelves and not be obsessed with trying to "cure" the addict, they have to seek help, you cannot force them, I do know that much! --to not focus on addict is much easier said than done!<p>Here is my post from other board -- hope it helps!<p>hanora,
thanks for tip on compliments -- she does outright bust my bricks when I compliment -- she has said that she needs to learn how to receive.
The memory lane thing is a good idea. She has shared a lot with me about her sexaul activity before we married and when I brought up idea of radicial honesty about our past, she did not at all go for it -- I beggeed off the past & tried to get agreement for just the present -- she had to run it by her counselor first -??? The idea again came back that it was too controling.
In recent valintines heart to heart -- as a means to reinforce her loyality to me she mentioned that over the years she had opportunities to develop interest in other men, but has always stayed with me -- how is that for ringing endorsement & reinforcement for security! I asked her what she meant & with whom was she referring -- she got real quiet and said it was none of my business. Makes me think that there have been a few men in her life since we have married -- I have just three confirmed A's.
I also think that the reason her counseling sessions got real confidential was because of this as well.
Just this afternoon when we were at our family Doctors I asked her if she ever told him of her activities & she said, No, but that if she had she would not have to tell me because of patient priviledges.
Anyway, thanks again for hangin in with me here!
Peace,
HH
PS -- Re: Sex abuse - I do know her mom was Se* Abused as a youngster by her mom's brother. And when my DW was young, up until her 8th grade they lived in same community. Also, I know that my DW was Sexually activity as youngster -- 13 or so - no intercourse as such until 15 or 16, but more than kissing & hugging -- when she was 16 or maybe close to 17 there was an adult male (neighbor friend of family) that fondled her breast.
significant ??
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