OK....I'm convinced that my H is purposely keeping me in a state of confusion.<BR>First of all when said he wanted to come home this last time...he neglected to tell me that he wasn't completely in love with me. He can't say he's 100% NOT.<BR>I'm not sure that I would have let him back in the door knowing this.<BR>Our first week was GREAT.....he came home on Easter Sunday and took 2 days off of work to be with me and the girls.<BR>He was showing lots of affection....and then....POOF....it was gone and then about 5 days after wondering what was going on...I asked him....and he told me. I love you more than just as a friend and the mother of my children....but I'm not in love with you....but it's grown a little.<BR>OK.....he started a conversation last night and his story was different.<BR>He said.....since all this has happened my feelings have grown for you....but they haven't grown since I came home.<BR>BUT....he has said that his in love feelings for me have popped up once or twice since he's been home.<BR>OK...here is what confuses me. I've asked him several times and made myself very clear.....have your feelings grown since you've been home....his answer.....they've grown a little....but they haven't grown since. Complete opposite of what he told me last night.<BR>I decided since he started the conversation that it was ok for me to ask a couple of questions.<BR>Q: What would make you leave? (one of my big fears since he's shown me how easy it is for him to do)<BR>A: You telling me to.<BR>Q: How long are you willing to give us?<BR>A: As long as it takes.<BR>Q: Am I meeting all your needs....emotional and physical?<BR>A: Yes<BR>Here are some other things that confuse me.<BR>AFTER he came home he changed how he dressed....wearing clothes I've been trying to get him to wear for years. Seems more concerned with the way he looks. This is all the time....when and when he isn't with me. I thought this would have happened before or when the A started.<BR>Then again....could I be confusing him also?<BR>Showing my affection now after not doing it for years....wanting to make sure that I show him I love him now and not assume that he just knows. Not bringing up the A....or getting mad when he has to work late....knowing the OW is there too. I admit....I've changed big time because of all of this.....a big eye opener for me. But he says he likes the new me better than the old me.<BR>I guess I just have to face it.....5 weeks into it...and I'm already a basket case....lol

On a lite note, it could be quite possible that your H is starting his new look b/c of your changes. We read on here how if we change, there's a much higher chance that our spouses will change too. Perhaps this is his start? Just a thought.<P>Karen<BR>

I knew that there would be changes......but I didn't think that they would occur immediatley.<BR>The day after he came home is when this started....and when I ask him why all of the sudden.....he says...I don't know.<BR>The dreaded....I don't know!!<BR>Also.....I see him looking at other women....he says he doesn't and that it's just me.<BR>BUT....we took our oldest daughter out to eat 2 weekends ago and I had to ask him to stop staring at the waitress.<BR>He said he wasn't......could this be all in my head?<BR>He has admitted that while he was gone he did alot of looking over his shoulder....waiting for someone to jump on him....someone from my family...or the OW's H. Could it be that he's still in that habit and I'm seeing it as something else? I noticed it the first time he came home.<BR>I guess it could be that I'm so paranoid that I'm seeing it differently than what it is......but I have...still am...and will be for a while going through hell with all of this.<BR>I do get little bits of affection here and there....a touch when he walks by occasionally....a kiss and an I love you when he goes somewhere....but I expected more.<BR>This withdrawl stage is bound to be much worse for him since he is the one that pulled the OW back into the affair after breaking it off...and then she gets a wild hair up her butt to rat him out by calling me....and he leaves again when she leaves her husband again. He knew she was going to tell her H....but didn't know she would call here. <BR>And the fact that he still works with her for 2 hours each day and sometimes has to help her with something. I have found out though that she usually will walk away until he is finished and then go back to her machine when he is done.<BR>She has told her H that she has something to prove to him....going to second shift and avoiding my H being a big step for her. Haven't heard anything like that from my H.<BR>So....all in all.....is it possible for him to get through withdrawl and still see her everyday?<BR>He's trying darnit....I see that....but there are things that set me back every day. Guess I'm reading between the lines too much.<BR>

Miss Priss~<P>I will be sending a email. Computer has been down.<P>Judy