I have not been to this site for a while, but would like to thank all of you helped me at my most down time(I thought of you guys every single day) and like to give some encouragement to those of you feel hopeless in your situation.<BR>It have been 2 and half month after D-day, I am a lucky one to be able to find this site 2 days after that. All the supports and encouragements I got from here are the reason I survived. <BR>My situation was very bad at that time, I never though he could have a A till he broke the news to me- WH wanted a divorce ASAP, wanted to move out ASAP, told me there is no hope for me at all and he was going to fill a D very soon and be with the OW, on and on.<BR>I used to come here and read those success stories and feel there is no way I will be one of them. After 2 and half month of plan-A, the story between us has improved. Yes, he is still seeing her every day at work and he told me last Sunday that he does not have a decision made yet, but at least he is doing the thinking now. He comes home every day after work and spends the evenings and weekends with me. I do not hear the "divorce" or "moving out" from him for 3 weeks.<BR>Yes, I am still in deep pain from all the lies he have been telling me and prabobaly still does, I still do not know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I am taking it one day at a time. I am planing our vacation in July and he is willing to go along with it.<BR>For all of you out there who are feeling hopeless but would like to save your marriage, please hang on. It does get better. I do not know what will happen at the end, but I do know that I have try my very best and will feel good about myself even he still decide to leave me. We BS will come out as a winner either way. At the other hand the BS and OP will never have a chance to feel good about themself like we could. <BR>So, hanging there with me, my friends. I feel so much pain for all of us and think of you every day. Keep plan-Aing if you could, it might seem not going anywhere and it is so hard to do, but it will work. Just remember - we will all walk out as a winner, doesn't matter what the out come will be. <BR>

You are obviously having one of your good days! <P>Thank you for sharing. I'm having one of my bad days, so the encouragement and reminder to focus on the good things is much needed.<P>Karen

Thank you tryingtolive2!<BR><B><BR>For all of you out there who are feeling hopeless but would like to save your marriage, please hang on. It does get better. I do not know what will happen at the end, but I do know that I have try my very best and will feel good about myself even he still decide to leave me. We BS will come out as a winner either way. At the other hand the BS and OP will never have a chance to feel good about themself like we could. <BR>So, hanging there with me, my friends. I feel so much pain for all of us and think of you every day. Keep plan-Aing if you could, it might seem not going anywhere and it is so hard to do, but it will work. Just remember - we will all walk out as a winner, doesn't matter what the out come will be. </B><P>I am 1 month into this and my situation sounds so similar. H does not want to leave his 'family' in the financial situation we are in so he stays. We still hug and kiss (albeit not passionately) and we still sleeps in the same bed. He says he never should have married me. I am more of a friend to him. He is not 'in love' with me and has never been. He says I convinced him to have kids.<P>So I am plan A'ing and making myself stronger. I have a feeling plan b is around the corner. I am praying for strength should that become necessary. He still calls her and sees her at work. He says he would have died if he hadn't found her. <P>I hope in another month and a half, I can post such positive thoughts to others. Thank you for sharing.<P><P>------------------<BR>See each day as a new beginning!<P>Cali

Topie25: <BR>You are right, I was having a good day this morning(not after I just found out that my WH had lunch with the OW yesterday and today, plus lie to me about it). Just try to calm myself down here before he comes home at 4:30. I told him over the phone that I was hurt by his lies and he said-I did not do anything.<BR>InShockinCali:<BR>I feel plan-B could be tomorrow every night before I going to bed. Yes, we will have to stay strong for ourself. I did make some progress and I believe you will in times.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by trying to live2:<BR><B><BR>You are right, I was having a good day this morning(not after I just found out that my WH had lunch with the OW yesterday and today, plus lie to me about it). Just try to calm myself down here before he comes home at 4:30. I told him over the phone that I was hurt by his lies and he said-I did not do anything.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>THINK LONG TERM!!! REMEMBER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED!! <P>DO NOT LB WHEN H GETS HOME!!!!!!!!<P>(how's that? )<P>Karen<P>

<BR>Thank for you encouragement. I will try to think long term!<BR>Having a very bad day today. It is one thing to know that my WH still lieing to me about how much time he spend at work with the OW, it is another to know the truth from his mouth. <BR>The weekend is coming and I do not know how can I stand to be with a liar for 2 days. I was looking forward for it before though.<BR>I DID a LB last night by asking him about the lunch thing and again he told me that he made a mistake by staying with me this 2 and half month. He said that he should just walk out right after the D-day, then by now I should already get over it. He also told me that he have told the OW don't go away, but he want me go away to have a better life. It HURTS!<BR>After I gave him a long speech about why the furture for them is not looking good and all the things could happen to him if he choise to be with her, only then he starts saying it is so hard to make a decision. I think he is so confused and so do I. I am thinking about filling a divorce whole day today!<BR>For those reading this post, please drop in a word or two. Really can use some encouragement to go through this weekend without LB. I am only human, without his positive encouragement the plan-A is so hard for me now!<BR>Hopefully I will able to post so more positive though next time, Sorry!<BR>

Hey trying...<P>Remember 1 day at a time;sometimes 1 minute at a time! Read my breakthrough post for whole story, but I believe prayer works. Pray and make yourself stronger.<P>[[[[hugs]]]]<P><P>------------------<BR>See each day as a new beginning!<P>Cali

Hi T2L:<P>Please don't be too upset by the everyday up and downs of your WH's confusion...certainly you can expect that any time he sees her he will be more inclined to view your marriage as irrepairable...I have to discipline myself to realize that these are just the times that I <B>don't</B> want to get into any type of discussion about the "relationship" with him...and that's hard because it is the time that I'm am the most upset about it...but experience has shown me that there is little benefit from it and it can be a source of unnecessary pain....because another day his resolve with be weaker and he will not be saying the things that hurt.<P>So much of what they do while they are in the fog...no matter how thick it is...has to just be taken without LB because there is no way to make it any better yourself...they have to do this....your only contribution is Plan Aing yourself when you can and making yourself a better partner for the future. By doing this (not LB and working on yourself) you increase your chances that you will be the ultimate winner...but a few battles will be lost along the way....and as Jim (NCR)says...patience...time...consistency...they really are the magic tools for both our and our marriage's survival though all this. <P>You're doing well...keep it up. It took my WH 6 months to reach this level of confusion.<P><BR>Faye<P> <p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited May 25, 2001).]

thanks to all of you. I do not have too much time now, but there is some bad news when my WH came home today. I will post a new topic about all the lies the OW had been telling him. Still hanging there though.

Good Grief....you are riding that roller coaster ride that never seems to end! I can well imagine that your emotions are in high-gear and working overtime. Perhaps you'll not read this post until tomorrow or later but I've always felt that sleeping "on it" made for a better perspective in the morning. The only problem of sleeping "on it" is how to get to sleep with all the thoughts that freely roam through the brain. Try to calm yourself (is that possible????) and rest as much as you are capable and rebuild the stamina necessary to rehash your thoughts in the morn. <P>Know that someone in Baltimore feels your pain......and then some. Hang in there, Sister.....<BR> <P><P>------------------<BR>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!