Well, tonite his brow was all furroughed and I asked what was wrong. H said this and that. I asked if it was anything I had done and he said, "no, he had done it all."<P>He went out to garage to workout area. I kept at him. (Nicely ) He started talking about how no one was concerned with him. How the only priority seemed to be the marriage and kids. I told him I was worried about him. I was concerned with the changes I had seen in his attitude and his personal values. I was concerned at how isolated he seemed to be.<P>He said that how could he ever be anything great? He was a follower, not a leader. I told him that all I ever wanted him to do was to lead our family. I told him I recognized I was a controller and the reasons why and that I no longer desired that. Then out of the blue he made some comment about OW being as controlling as me! I was stunned.<P>Recently I have been reading a book called the Prayer of Jabez (on the bestseller list) I have been praying that prayer for two days. I talked to him of the principles of the prayer and of how I knew our marriage could be. I asked him to read the book. His thing is that he has not done what he wants to do with his life. The book challenges you to listen to God's plan.<P>He asked how do we know what God wants? I said we get on our knees and pray and listen.<P>He is very conflicted right now. <P>Then, I accessed his voice mail and BINGO, she's left a message about the 'weird' conversation they had and how she's sorry and she loves him and she always wants to be with him....(I resisted temptation to erase, I now know how to skip message so he doesn't know I listened!)<P>I am hopeful and prayerful.<P>------------------<BR>See each day as a new beginning!<P>Cali

Sounds like he may be opening up to you. I can imagine it feels good not to have H think she is perfect. The fog might be clearing!

Cali,<BR> Pray without ceasing. Surrender your plans for your own life and your marriage to God. HE WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU! I didn't mention in my post to you on your other thread that GOD is the one who saved my marriage. I prayed and cried out daily. I walked every morning listening to my worship tapes and God guided me in what to do and how to act. I didn't have the courage to do those things I did on my own,God gave me the courage and guided every move I made. Listen to Him,He will guide you. Let your H see the love and forgiveness of Jesus when he looks into your face. Sounds like he is contemplating and realizing that OW is not the answer. My H who had strayed from God has turned around completely and beccome the spiritual leader in our household, but boy, did I have to learn to give up control and learn to follow my H. I can proudly say now that he has changed so much and his relationship with God has grown so much that he has been able to influence some of his co-workers to open up to the Lord. I would have never in a million years imagined that my H would profess his faith to others but it is instrumental in his life now. I will pray that your H finds that everything he is looking for can be found in a relationship with his heavenly Father. God's blessings to you both. BTW I am in the Inland Empire as well.<p>[This message has been edited by mthrrhbard (edited May 24, 2001).]

Dear Cali,<P>Some waffling and a bit of fog lifting? Good. Don't jump up and down yet, the OW sounds like she wants to the one to save your H from his problems. <P>Ows often don't do a real good job because they really don't know the Ws and visa versa. <P>It is funny when you are showing them attention, that is what they claim 'no one' is giving them. Then when you bring it to their attention, then they may admit it but not give you the full credit for all your efforts. <P>Don't let that get you down. At least he is listening to your words and may mull them over later. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

The rest of the evening was mostly uneventful. He was in serious thinking mode. Hard as it was, I left him alone.<P>We worked out and went to bed. Before going to bed, he did something unexpected. He went out to the truck and retrieved the book, "The Prayer of Jabez," that I asked him to read.<P>I fell asleep to him reading the book. I woke up with his arms around me. He nuzzled and caressed me.<P>I am scared what will happen when she sees him at work today. I wonder if that is why is has been going to work so late. (Avoidance of conflict...)<P>I am still hopeful and prayerful<P>------------------<BR>See each day as a new beginning!<P>Cali