What are your experiences of withdrawl from your WS or if you are the WS what did you experience?<P>My WS shows almost no affection at all other than a kiss and an I love you before he goes somewhere...which I think he does more out of habit than anything.<BR>He can't look me in the eye if we look at each other for more than 2 seconds. (not while talking...just in passing or sitting across from each other he will usually look away immediately)<BR>His response time when I show him affection is very little and he will literally push me away. (he used to hang all over me constantly before the A)<BR>The only thing that seems to matter is what he wants to do.<BR>He doesn't seem to think making time for me and our daughters every day is important.<BR>He doesn't do anything to help around the house anymore other than mow the lawn. ( he will occsionally help with the girls)<BR>When I get upset enough to cry over something he will not try to console me.<BR>He gives me no moral support whatsoever.<P>I do hope these things change over time....it's like we are living with someone that us just here to provide financial support. He is free to do what he wants no matter what anyone thinks.<P>

I'm experiencing very similar circumstances. Right now, it's all about him. He does nothing around the house except for the landscaping. He now eats and leaves his dishes either in the sink or on the table. We won't even speak of laundry. Affection? No kiss hello or goodbye, no I love you, just occasional intimacy gestures since he's really not able to commit himself to us. Since I'm extremely new to this and experiencing my own "fog" at the devasting impact of my H's infidelity, I'm relying on the feedback of our more "seasoned" (sad that we have to gain this experience) friends here at MB. They tell me this detached behaviour is in line with withdrawal and I pray that it is, for all of us. I hope that this makes you feel better that there are others out there going through the same thing.<P>Hugs

Unfortunately, H hasn't gone through, nor is he even close to, withdrawal. However, he did FAKE it! He was going on and on about how much he missed talking to OW#1, how he couldn't understand why she stopped talking to him, with no explainations. HUH??? They were found out! Good enough explaination to me!<P>But as it turns out, he has stayed in contact with her all along (albeit only via emails and the odd phone call to the best of my knowledge...er... 'snooping'). Of course, since I confronted him on it, he's been singing a different tune. (the whole, 'she's a nice person, I don't want to hurt her, I don't understand how you can have so much hate towards her, I hate that about you' crap! ) SIGH!<P>Karen<BR>

OH my this sounds SO familiar. My H had a very involved A with a single coworker who tried EVERYTHING to get him to divorce me and marry her. (Even to the point of insisting he file divorce papers on me if he wanted just to talk to her on the phone after she moved away to take a job transfer- and he DID it then cancelled them!) . H then was on the fence about re-commiting to our marriage for the past 2 mo or so. Some days slept on the couch others in our bed but will not touch me. All I get is occasional hugs no kissing and we've been married 15 yrs. I've tried to get more affection but he told me its as if I asked him to go kiss the next door neighbor lady- is that deep fog or what??? Anyway the more I asked him about the A the more he would clam up and be distant. Every 2 wks he would bring up divorce again but I refused to agree to any of it and we'd talk long and hard about it every time. I have been using plan A on him and made some changes he's been wanting me to make. I wrote him a letter for our 15th wedding anniversary telling him I still love him.Praying alot with the book Power of a Praying Wife. Now he's finally starting to de-fog and agreed to counseling. Thank God! Now if I can just get some affection before I get old and grey.( Its been 6 mo here ever since his A turned physical with OW!)He's been so moody and confused I am glad to see him starting to improve. We even went out for dinner last night after counseling-it was SO nice after he had told me he wasnt sure if he still loved me and didnt want to spend time with me just a month ago!!!! My advice to you is try and I know its HARD to ignore it when he is not responsive to you- I would go do something nice for myself if I felt upset. Go shopping- get some coffee or take a hot bath or vent here and try to let his withdrawal talk roll right off you. And be patient though its SO hard to do !!!!Hang in there!lifeismessy