D-day was in June of 1999...a long time, but since then H has seen OW almost every day...she works for us. I posted a little of my history on the recovery and emotional pages. <P>H is very protective of OW, he doesn't want me logging anything on the computer at work, he doesn't want me to tell OW's hubby. (We go out with them socially) He thinks we should maintain friendship with the couple so that the OW's hubby doesn't find out.<P>My H says his A is ended, (I tend to believe him) but I just can't get over it. I had a one night stand in 1998, and there has been no contact. My H knows about this, and doesn't seem to be having as much problem dealing with my infidelity as I have dealing with his. Is H yanking my chain about his A being over or what? I gave him an ultimatum...OW or me, he hesitated a LONG time before answering. He says he will not continue his friendship with the OW, THEN he told me all of the reprecusions of breaking contact! (her H finding out, we'd lose an employee that would be hard to replace ect...) Someone help me out here! I need feed back!<P>Cyn

Sounds like H is manipulating you. I don't know if he has ended the affair or not, but it sounds like the emotional (much worse IMO) affair has continued since dday. Have you been in plan a? I would definitely insist that OW get out of the picture - employees are easy to find, good wives are not! H sounds too protective of her. He also sounds like he's having his cake and eating it too.... Just MHO.

Lilhick,<P>well..I do understand how difficult it is to find good employees...I also know...she can cause real trouble legally for you if you fire her (sexual harrassment..wrongful termination etc...) My H and I own a couple of business..so I understand this..NOW if SHE quits..that is a different story. SO how about sitting her down, and letting her know that you do not like the "friendship that she and your H have". That since their A..YOU are having an exteme difficult time. This is not making it it better. You feel that maybe ALL parties involved (including her Hubby) need to figure out a solution..if her hubby is keeping taps on her..this may make you feel more comfortable, so the hubby needs to know what transpired..so HE can help you..it is only fair. Why should YOU be so understanding? and giving..when this is upsetting you....she may not like that option..she may just quit...if she goes to your H...and he goes into protecto mode...Let him know that is is NO LONGER acceptable. the only person he should be protecting is you and your feelings PERIOD. Now if it were me...(I live in a community property state..which is worse than a fault..because A can get me much more)..he would have a choice....1/2 his business...or "his" little employee...My H would not hesitate...<BR>My stong view on this stems from the fact...that after an A...they should NOT HAVE contact..period...I can understand it taking time to get rid of her cuz of the circumstances of a potentional Law suit..BUT come on...something IS still going on here...wether it is EA/ or PA...it is TIME her husband gets in on this... you need to take care of YOU...since no one else is...and you own 1/2 the business...and if you dont like it...do something...you have the right....and remind your husband..."that you dont SH*& were you eat!!"...MEN !!!...Now I have not done the harley method, and my advice here is what I would have done in your situation...but you know your situation best...I am at the I have no patience, and anger Phase of my H's A...and it comes out in my posts ( I guess you can call this a disclaimer)....but it's your business too, and she is your employee...and I still think her H should KNOW...why should you suffer alone...and I bet he would be very mad that you have known and you did not tell him...JMO