Well here it is 4 o'clock Sun afternoon & I am still waiting to talk to H. The lesson at church this morning was about suffering, most it really hit home, I couldn't look at my H. <P>H & OS have gone to the gym. So it was time to see if my gut feeling was right. Was H in H-town or was he somewhere in Asia? Guess which is the right answer. You got it; he was in H-town. <P>So while he was writing me those heart breaking emails, of having a breakdown, not being able to function, etc, he was traveling/ or all ready with the OW. <P>Thank goodness H & OS have been gone long enough for me to calm down. The funny thing is I don't think my H can tell me that he wants to end it. We will see.<P>I just went back & read my threads for the past month. They have been so full of pain. Thank you all for being here for me this path month. Every tiny word of encouragement, has helped get through these last days here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart (<I>or what is left of it</I>).<P> May you all find the <B>PEACE & HAPPINESS</B>.<BR>

Hi sing. We will not abandon you. More importantly, I know sing will not abandon you! You are strong and will know your limit when it arrives.<P>I have hope that even though he might have been with OW, that he was still thinking a lot. Your OS is getting some much needed attention. I hope for the best.<P>Thanks for your post to me. Everything here is status quo.<P>Dave

Hi Sing,<P>How are you doing? It is probably already early Monday morning in your part of the world and I wanted to let you know that there is a lot of care and hugs for you coming from this side of the pacific. <P>You have found out more hurtful info and I am truly sorry for this additional pain. Your H appears to be in a state of raw confusion. Trying to decide between his family and his other life should not be difficult but obviously it is. <P>Until he is able to clearly see the right choice to make, it will cause pain and suffering for you and your family. I know you already know this. <P>In the meantime, know that your friends here at MB are all pulling for you and your family. <P>Take Care my friend,<BR>L.<P>

Oh Sing,<P>I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It might be that your H will never make a decision. <P>You might want to let your H know that you know where he has been. At some point it has to stop. At least one of your children is suffering. I took a different aproach than the full Marriage Builders stance. I did a lot of tough love with Tony. It helped a great deal. Tony still has a long way to go and I am not sure we will make it but I let him know where the boundries were. I just was not in the mood to deal with his little boy crap game. It may work with his family but it does not fly with me. <P>I am so sorry your H is jerking you around. It is so unfair. Really think what your next move is. If you decide to go down the road of tough love make sure you are willing to go through what you say you will do if he pulls stuff. Because if you do not than he will still manipulate the situation. <P>((((((Sing))))))) Sorry I can not give you a hug in real life.

Hi <B>sing</B>,<P>I hope you're still hanging in there.<P>Pahakissa may be right. I do think that MB does support a form of tough love, though. It's called Plan B. I don't know if you should be there yet or no. It seems like he may be starting to come to his senses, even though he hasn't yet added constructive action to his expressions of regret.<P>You just want to make sure that you've accomplished all you can in Plan A b4 going to B. The key might be whether his relationship with the OW is starting to fall apart. You can't (and shouldn't) live with the status quo indefinitely, but if he's beginning to see that life with the OW wouldn't be so great, it may be worth trying a little more time in Plan A. However, you it's probably better to go to B than continue longer than you are able to maintain a good Plan A, and then have him remember a lot of LBing as his last memories of your time together.<P>Hope you're now feeling better.<P>Steve

My dearest <B>sing</B>,<P>Just dropped by to check on you... I see nothing new since this post...<P>What finally happened??<P>Hugs and love being sent through the airwaves to you!!<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

Sing,<P>I'm late getting here. It is now Tuesday. Has anything happenned since Sunday?<P>Hope everything is alright. Please update us.

Ditto Sheryl and Survivor.<P>Let's see, it must be about 4:40 AM Singapore time?<P>We'll give you a little over an hour, till 6 AM your time .<P>Steve

Thanks everyone, there is no news. My wonderful H is still fence sitting or at least that is what he is telling me, as there have been no phone calls on the house phone from the OW, I would assume she thinks he is coming home Tue. I think we have tickets out on that day.<P>but everything with OS is so up in the air.<P>I really can't write more now, about an hr ago I had phone call from a mom from OS school, her 10th grade son didn't come home last night. She was calling as she knew our sons go to one of the clubs. Her son was going, I don't know if mine did. OS was spending the night with someone, but I had the wrong number, took me about 30 minutes to track the number, get someone to answer, & speak to my son. He hadn't seen this boy. The missing boy's parents have contacted the police, all the hospitals, so hopefull he is has just crashed at someones house. This is my worst nightmare.<P>See if I can't worry about my stuff, I borrow other people's troubles.<P>Thanks everyone for caring & when I know something you all will also & about this kid too.

the missing boy finally called home. at least he is well & our of jail.<P>