Are there any members of any of the MB forums who has a WS, who wishes for reconciliation, living out of their immediate area. My H is over 1000 miles from home and is presently incarcerated. He's been down for two years and just recently confirmed my ever-growing suspicions that he was involved in an EA and PA with OW for a few years (???three, four or more???) prior to his incarceration. And, his last communication with her was about (????) six months ago. He claims that the A is way-over and that he wants to make things right between us and our children. <P>Of course, I have many, many concerns about his current revelations and the timing of such. I'll put that to the back-burner for now. The fact that he opened up is a huge leap in the right direction. I'm not so sure that this can be worked out while he is sooooo daggone far away. BTW, the OW lives in the area where I reside. He's gone and she's still around to remind me of how pissed-off I am at the whole situation. Grrrrrr!<P>There is a lot of behind the scenes information that you may be curious about and I'll be more than happy to fill in the blanks. I'm tired of carrying the burden of shining his armour for all the time that he'd been wayward. I'm ready to spill the beans.......which ever way they may go.<P>Although I've experienced a wealth of torment with my H, nothing quite compares with having to deal with finally knowing the truth and not being able to talk at length about this with him. He is more than willing to speak with me about the A, but time restraints on the public phone that he must use and the outrageous costs of calling home collect interfers with our communications. <P>Any suggestions??????<P>----------------------------<BR>Time heals all wounds as long at you DON'T pick at them<p>[This message has been edited by GeezLouise (edited May 27, 2001).]

Bringing this to the top. Anybody know of anyone trying to repair their relationship to a WS over a great distance for a long period of time?<P>C'mon there has got to be something in the archives....Help, please?

Dear GeezLouise,<BR>Well, the incarceration makes it hard but not impossible. Letter writing will obviously be your conduit, as the phone calls allowed in jail are few and far between, and wouldn't you really rather save that time for good and encouraging conversation? I think reading the MB books, and daily correspondence would actually be pretty good. You'd be able to re-read things before sending them out. If you have questions for him, you could write them out, he could answer and send them back... and vice versa. You'll follow all the MB principles, just not face to face. Also, use this time seperated for forself too.<BR>T

I have a cousin who is in prison.<P>Your positives...I know that people in prison do not get much 'outside' communication so your letters are sure to be read. Also by writing all your questions, you will be able to calm down before writing him back therefore avoiding LB.<P>I suggest each time you send him mail, you write 2 letters, one being for questions and A related and the other a 'good' letter with your daily events and such.<P>Also, I agree that you should save your visits for plan A and non A related talks.<P>I'm sure many here would love to have WS incarcerated so as to keep him out of OW's clutches--sure there can still be communication, but can they have sex? Also, he has plenty of time to think about what he did.<P>I'm sorry if this sounds wrong (I'm in a pretty rotten mood). I don't mean to downplay your situation at all, just trying to look for positives.