O.K. give it to me,should I have stoped her and made a big fight or should I now go see a lawyer,or better yet a consuler?I'm at my whits end with this whole thing,I'm at home watching the ranch,and she has my daut. at OM's house,my son is with her dad and brother.I'm so confused. NTK

In your situation I still think Plan B would be wise. And yep about the counselor and the lawyer. You need to protect your own sanity and health as well as that of your chidren. At this point in time your children have only one parent who is looking out for their best interests. I know your wife would argue this point, but it is obvious that she has no clue as to how this will affect them in the long run.<P>Good Luck<BR>Z

This is the time to set some ground rules...<BR>...children's emotional well-being must come first!!!<P>If she insists on exposing them the to OM...<BR>...especially if she is living at home...<P>...see an attorney...<BR>...and fight for your children's rights!<P>When my xW (3 months after D-day) planned for summer vacation with OM and his family...<BR>...I got a judge to restrain her taking the kids!<BR>...unfortunately... I had to counter file for a divorce first... <P>If you need to <B>protect</B> yourself legally (and/or financially)... I usually make the recommendation of finding a <B>good</B> attorney. A good place to start off is at the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counseling free of charge.<BR><A HREF="http://www.uslaw.com" TARGET=_blank>USLaw.com</A> (an alternative search site)<P>You can check out my story on the links below...<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

There would be no way I would let my H bring my children to see the OW. They would be so upset and confused. Your wife has no clue on the way to handle this. You can talk to a school councelor and I am sure they could tell you the best way to handle this. She should wait for the D before bringing the children anywhere near the OM. My H is living with the OW and you can bet anything my children will never meet this pig prior to a D. I am not saying I want one, I am trying to get him back home to work on our marriage, but noway would I let him introduce our children to her.<BR>

I am sorry but I would not like it if my WH took my kids to see the OW. Of course, my kids are 15 & 18 and they are very angry at their father anyway. They already have said if he marries her they will cause havoc on her and the marriage. My older son goes to the mall and calls her at her work place on his cell phone and waits and watches til she comes to the phone and hangs up. They can't stand her and I think it would not be good for any age child to witness "another" person in the marriage. Talk to a good attorney! SEF

I am sorry but I would not like it if my WH took my kids to see the OW. Of course, my kids are 15 & 18 and they are very angry at their father anyway. They already have said if he marries her they will cause havoc on her and the marriage. My older son goes to the mall and calls her at her work place on his cell phone and waits and watches til she comes to the phone and hangs up. They can't stand her and I think it would not be good for any age child to witness "another" person in the marriage. Talk to a good attorney! SEF

NTK,<BR>I went through the same thing you are now. I was unable to keep x from having kids around om as they were living together. All I did was drive myself crazy and almost got myself arrested.<P>X had promised not to have om around when the kids were at the apartment they used to share. I found out om was around when my son was upset and told me. I confronted then w at work, she told me om was tired of being out that night and wanted to come back. Anyway the security guard and some local police there soon became interested in the scene I was making and I soon left.<P>There have been a number of people here that have had succes in getting some type of order about overnight guests of the opposite sex when the kids are there but I didn't.<P>My minister friend pointed out to me, that it may not be a bad thing for the kids to meet the op as I probably wouldn't be able to stop it and also suppose you do end up divorced, don't you want your kids to be able to get along with the op if they get married?<P>I still struggle with this, what kind of message does it send? But does it help any to drive yourself crazy????<P>A month ago I had to be out of town for 3 nights and needed x to watch the kids. She responded she would, but when she gave me her work schedule, she was working 2 of the nights. She said om/h could watch the kids. I went ballastic and ended up strong armming her out the door.<P>Again, I risked jail, but she did change her schedule. I'm going on a long weekend vacation and her schedule shows she has arranged her schedule to be off and not depend on om/h to watch the kids.