Any suggestions on how to get images of them haveing sex out of my mind?? And how do I keep working on paln A while I know they continue to see each other?<P>JK <P>

I am currently having same problem after 1 yr of recovery. I try so hard to think on positive happy memories that we two have made together. But there have been so many triggers these past 2 months for me that leave me wondering. For example he sold his truck for another and I kept thinking he was doing this to rid himself of memories of them. I don't even know that they were together in the truck, but I feel they were and so I tend to get stuck thinking on that. <P>I must admit that I don't dwell on it near as bad as a few months ago though. I try to quickly switch my imaging of me with him and not her.

kaymac,<P>Thanks for the response, I'm 9 days into d-day and seperated for 2 months and have figured the OM has been around for 4 months. Friends at first, as usual, they met in Feburary. I realize now whwen they were togther and when sha was lying. I just can't get the image out of my mind, can sleep at night. Steve H is asking me to give it few weeks but I want to file when I get thought like this!<P>JK<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kaymac:<BR><B>I am currently having same problem after 1 yr of recovery. I try so hard to think on positive happy memories that we two have made together. But there have been so many triggers these past 2 months for me that leave me wondering. For example he sold his truck for another and I kept thinking he was doing this to rid himself of memories of them. I don't even know that they were together in the truck, but I feel they were and so I tend to get stuck thinking on that. <P>I must admit that I don't dwell on it near as bad as a few months ago though. I try to quickly switch my imaging of me with him and not her.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

The thoughts and images of them were always there in the beginning after D day. But they begin to fade little by little over the past year. They still come but disappear more rapidly than earlier. And when I get them, it all comes back, and then I dwell on everything wrong he has ever done to me our entire married life! I see why when you get them that you want it all finalized. <P>I agree that you should give it more time. I worked hard on citing scripture, reading positive books, listening to gospel music, or whatever it took to fill my mind constantly with good things instead of those flash backs. I have learned the triggers that cause me to begin dwelling on them again and I try to avoid them.<P>Try hard to find a good memory that you can focus on when you are seeing those images. Work your brain into thinking on that instead of the images. I know it is very hard, but can be done. Lots of Luck!!

Hi,<P>Well, I don't know if this will help but sometimes hearing a worse case makes your current issue more tolerable. <P>Let me share my experience. In my case, I don't know what the OW looks like, still don't (at least not the face). You see, this OW likes her privacy. That is why she sent a picture of the 2 of them having Sex (just the body parts) to H in an e-mail. <P>So while 'I' never saw the B lady, I did see the rated X part and I must say it was not a pretty sight. She is 45 years and showing her age in certain places. Are you laughing yet? <P>The next time you have a picture in your head, just remember that someone out there actually saw it and now I can't get it out of my head (& it was in color). YUCK!!!!<P>Hey, you gotta laugh sometimes, otherwise this stuff will make you go crazy. <P>Hope this makes some of you feel a bit better. If so, it was worth the trauma. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited May 30, 2001).]

kaymac,<P>That helps a bit, it all seems overwhelming, its worse when I try to sleep, and when I wake up in the middle of the night. I'm taking celaxa for 9 days now and I'm told that will help, I got the ok to take an OTC sleep aid yesterday and will start tonight. Also, I figured out a few times when they were together just befor I saw her, and figured out her lies, and thats what killing me. <BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kaymac:<BR><B>The thoughts and images of them were always there in the beginning after D day. But they begin to fade little by little over the past year. They still come but disappear more rapidly than earlier. And when I get them, it all comes back, and then I dwell on everything wrong he has ever done to me our entire married life! I see why when you get them that you want it all finalized. <P>I agree that you should give it more time. I worked hard on citing scripture, reading positive books, listening to gospel music, or whatever it took to fill my mind constantly with good things instead of those flash backs. I have learned the triggers that cause me to begin dwelling on them again and I try to avoid them.<P>Try hard to find a good memory that you can focus on when you are seeing those images. Work your brain into thinking on that instead of the images. I know it is very hard, but can be done. Lots of Luck!!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Orchid,<P>OUCH! I feel for ya. Unfortunately, I have seen him and can picture his face, also what I'd like to do to it! Althought your worse case is really ulgy, it dos'nt make me feel better. Thanks anyway. Also, I know that sometimes when we are together as a family, she leaves us to be with him. My Mother-in -law tells me he is no big deal and this shall pass and she is waiting to see changes in me. How long is anybodys guess. Also, I have to live with this quote, 4 days after she told me she loved and missed me, "I like him". UGGGH!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Orchid:<BR><B>Hi,<P>Well, I don't know if this will help but sometimes hearing a worse case makes your current issue more tolerable. <P>Let me share my experience. In my case, I don't know what the OW looks like, still don't (at least not the face). You see, this OW likes her privacy. That is why she sent a picture of the 2 of them having Sex (just the body parts) to H in an e-mail. <P>So while 'I' never saw the B lady, I did see the rated X part and I must say it was not a pretty sight. She is 45 years and showing her age in certain places. Are you laughing yet? <P>The next time you have a picture in your head, just remember that someone out there actually saw it and now I can't get it out of my head (& it was in color). YUCK!!!!<P>Hey, you gotta laugh sometimes, otherwise this stuff will make you go crazy. <P>Hope this makes some of you feel a bit better. If so, it was worth the trauma. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.<P><BR>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited May 30, 2001).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

JK, glad to hear about the celexa. I took zoloft right after d day and it worked really quick. It is great for those obcessive thoughts. I hope the sleeping pills work too. I take them from time to time to help me go to sleep quickly so I don't think. I am no longer on the zoloft.<P>Another thing I thought of is that the images were there for me MOSTLY because I had so many unanswered questions and blanks to fill in. I began and just finished a 65 page history of the events that took place in 98, and 99 up to d day in 4-2000. It helped me fit together all the lies and suspicions and in the long run helped me with all the images. I don't know how, but it did. I also asked alot of questions and H greatly obliged.<P>When you have that quiet moment, think on the good stuff, and switch back to them everytime your mind drifts! And if all possible, avoid the quite times for right now!!

I know how you feel. My W had an PA 3 years ago and I was just beginning to get them images out of my mind. But guess what, found out two weeks ago she was having an EA. No sex beside teenage stuff in the car but the emotional bond was there. It hurts just as much.<BR>Now not only do past images come back stronger, I now have new ones to deal with. I don't understand how people do this and if you read my previous post you will understand how deep our problems go.<BR>Hang in there, they do fade, just pray you don't get new ones to top them.<P>Keep the Faith,<P>Jim S

Everyday I cry because I don't know how to get the images of them having sex out of my mind....<BR>It's horrible and hurts too much...<BR>It's the most painfully reason that I can't forgive my hubby.<BR>I tried to think in positive things but nothing works....<BR>I wanna help too.....<BR>

Got help today, Celexa is also kicking in. Steve H told me to keep photo's of happy times around and when I think of them look at the photo's. Havn't tried it yet but can't hurt any more than it already does. Also, pray for strenght and forgivenss. If you forgive him, God already has, it may help, forgivness is powerful stuff. Also remember he is intoxicated and dos'nt know what he is doing. <P>JK<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by La Belle Angel:<BR><B>Everyday I cry because I don't know how to get the images of them having sex out of my mind....<BR>It's horrible and hurts too much...<BR>It's the most painfully reason that I can't forgive my hubby.<BR>I tried to think in positive things but nothing works....<BR>I wanna help too.....</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>