Well it's been three years yesterday that we been married and one year since her affair. I as I analyze me and just how I am. I don’t think that I am strong enough to move on. I know that I don’t trust her and I know I don’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth. The other night we stay up all night and talked about how hurt that I am. As she was also crying and saying sorry I just could not get out of my head what she was like and how she talked a year ago. (She didn’t care that she was cheating on me and she did nothing but brag to her friends about it) I thought that I was making progress after the other night. But last night as we where coming home after our one year Anniversary she was talking about something her friend said to her,” I think by now Chris should have gotten over it.” Now this was a woman that said that what leaves me to believe that she is lying. I don’t thing any woman that has been lied to and cheated on would thing that they would be over it like that. But I do love her. But Ill never be in love with her again. I just don’t know if I can live like that. It’s a hard thing to know that the woman that I have loved and wanted to spend my life with doesn’t think that I am special to her. And thinks that she is right for cheating on me because I worked a lot and tried to make our lives better. I wish that this were easy. Most of the time I am out the door. I read the marriage builders web page and understand it. But I don’t think that it can work for me. I could really use some advice.<BR>Thank you.<BR>

If you don't have children then run for your life and don't look back!!!!!<BR>h

Howard,<P>The reason we have Marriage Builders is to help couples REBUILD marriages, not tell them to run for their lives!<P>Have you read the concepts here?<P>If you haven't, please do ~~ here's some links for you:<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi10_tour.html" TARGET=_blank>Tour of Marriage Builders</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A><P>the end, I'm so sorry for your continued pain. Have you tried Plan A? I'm not familiar with your situation...<BR>

It's hard when your a man and a betrayed spouse. It doesn't make you feel like a man does it? I'm sure you have resisted many affairs yourself. It is really sad. My W cheated for 9 years. I met her 9 years ago. She has said many things to me. We are 4 months past d-day. I have been very much into Plan-B from the start. Then I found Marriage Builders. Plan-b from the start was a risk. Thank God that it worked. I followed it up with a God centered recovery. We have an unbelievable recovery under way. We also have set-backs. Just this morning I called my W. I answered her as "hey, baby" in my best Barry White voice. She thought it would be funny to ask: "Who is this?" NOT FUNNY!!! She immediately saw her gaff and appologized. I forgave immediately. 2 months ago this could have been a real BIG BIG problem. Have hope. One of my best friends was cheated on 4 years ago by a girlfriend. He is still not dealing with it well. He still punishes her. This is dead wrong! He loves his resentment. Your wife should admit her fault. She did it, not you. You need to give her a soft place to land, if she's good. Let her know that if she's unfaithful, she's on her own totally.<P>Forgiveness is a gift. Do not expect reciprocity. Forgive and forget. Pray on it.<P>The number one thing that has helped me is Christian Talk Radio. I know that's sappy, but it does help. They deal with a lot of family issues. Believe me I have a lot of family issues.<P>Here is a poem:<P>here am i<P> I waited for you each night.<BR> Felt the cold of your sheets<BR> Each night, building my resentment,<BR> I waited for you to leave.<P> I checked your bed it was cold<BR> The window was broken<BR> I slept a foolish sleep<P> Where is the girl of Spring<P> The wildflowers have been picked too soon<BR> Wilted on the ground with a broken stem<BR> The morning dew spilt on the ground<P> I waited all Spring for the first blooms<BR> I waited all Summer for the fruit<BR> I waited for the Fall of leaves<BR> I waited for the sweet solace of Winter sleep<P><BR> I held my tears in a cold bed<BR> I never meant them for you<BR> Cruel tears break from me<BR> They fall heavily onto your vacant pillow<BR> I never cried in my pillow<BR> I never got the chance<P> The sound has found the girl<BR> Her white dress is torn<BR> The girl is torn<BR> She returns through the window<P> She is a warm breeze from summer<BR> The curtains move<BR> Spring has returned to her bed<P> here am i, no more can be said<P> Copyright ©2001