My H said last night that he's can't tell me that he loves me right now...only six weeks ago he was telling me that he had to leave...a few days ago he said he doesn't want his freedom..he just appears to have softened all around. If he's telling the truth, the last time he contacted the OW was April 20th. He still hasn't indicated that he's made a decision about our marriage but I'm unsure of this behaviour. Is it good or bad or just another calm before the storm?

Terrified~<P>It could be that withdrawal weakening for him and his is able to focus more on you and your marriage. Go by his actions and enjoy him.<P>Judy

Hi T,<P>You & I are about in the same time zone (WS recovery wise). Getting similar reaction over here. <P>Take it as a positive small step. Be prepared for periodic setback. Is the OW attempting contact? The one on this side hasn't stopped, her last call was 2 days ago. Haven't heard if it happened today but every Thursday she has been making her presence known. H is asleep so I will have to wait to ask. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.

Terrified take it as a positive.IF your H was in a very emotinally charged A it is going to take alot of time for him- and if he's midlife crisis or depressed add more time in for that. I am just at the point where H is finishing up withdrawal from OW- its taken about 6-8 wks since last contact with her. It is a one step forward two steps back kind of thing. My H also told me he couldnt say he loved me- even as recently as 2 wks ago he told our counselor he had no feelings for me( after 15 yrs of marriage and 3 kids!) yet now just a few wks later we are making some good progress.H had one and a half feet out the door at counseling just a few wks ago but now is starting to actually listen to the counselor. Try to bite your tongue when he is cranky and not take it too personally when he is distant from you- just do small things for yourself to feel better or leave the house for a little while to get in a better mood and wait it out. I did and things are going better now. Hang in there- lifeismessy

Terrified,<P>Remember to try and keep focused on the big picture. Think of the progress that you have made over the past 6 weeks! This may take a while, just keep focusing on making yourself as good as you can be. Sounds like some of the changes may be rubbing off on him. Keep the end result in focus and move steadily toward it.

I'd say defintie positve. It was for my H. It still make take awhile and there may still be some back and forth but it's the first step!

As an ex-WS myself, I would say it's a definate sign that the fog is lifting. Whatever you're doing, it must be working because he is once again seeing and feeling the good things in you and in your marriage together.