I don't know what to think...<P>W (WS) has left town for a few days...says she needs to be away to think things through...to figure out what she is doing. She has gone to visit some relatives but is not staying with them...also says she is spending time alone...<P>Before she left she said she likely would not call me but would see me when she returned in a few days.<P>The day she left I found out she had had some contact w/OM a month ago (phone call from him) she had not told me about it. I also found out that he is on a business trip about 500 miles from my W's destination (OM lives about 1,500 from us).<P>I was able to reach her and asked if she was headed to meet him...she said she wasn't. (OM also swore to his W they were not meeting...I talked to OMW about this on the same day)<P>Anyway...after W says she wasn't going to call, after the first night gone, she left three messages on our machine Wednesday...she was kind of sad, said she was sorry to miss me, she really wanted to talk to me.<P>She finally called again later that night and we talked a bit.<P>SHE: I'm not saying I'm coming home but, do you really think you can forgive me?<P>ME: I already have....<P>(Long silence)<P>SHE: Do you really think you can trust me again?<P>ME: I think that if we work at it, yes. I'm not saying it would be easy but I think we can regain trust together.<P>SHE: OK---I just needed to hear the asnwers to those questions.<P>She went on to say that she understood I would be worried if I didn't hear from her, but if I didn't it wasn't because she wasn't thinking about me and us...she also said I could worry about her being on the road alone, but don't worry about this "other thing" (meaning OM). <P>She sounded sincere and again said she loves me (still says that every time we talk).<P>It has been 2 months since d-day...she has been living on her own for about 2 1/2 months.<P>I haven't heard from here since Wed. nite....I can't help but wonder what she is doing...but want to believe what she told me on the phone not to worry...but still...I have this huge knot in my stomach... <P>Any thoughts? <P> <p>[This message has been edited by Elad (edited June 01, 2001).]

Elad - just reading your post gives ME knots. It's hard to know if she's sincere or not. My wife called me from "her trip alone" last July to say she wanted us to go to counseling. I jumped at the chance. Turns out it was a ruse to be able to say she tried counseling - OM did exactly the same thing to his W. <P>So, continue your responses in the tone you described here, but be cautious that the roller coaster can take many dips on every lap. Even if she is sincere one moment, OM can pull her back into thicker fog the next. It's probably safe to say she's on the fence which means it's sooooo important for you to cultivate her doubts by not LB'ing and by demonstrating your Plan A improvements. NO LBs!!!!!<P>Good luck,<BR>WAT

Thanks