H just called me at work.<P>He had story about how quickly 'rumors' are started at his school. (I had mentioned I had heard one about OW and he a few weeks ago.)<P>Then he asked me if counselor had talked to me about what they had talked about. I told him no that I was waiting for him to talk. The tone of his voice was scary.<P>He told me they talked in circles, just like when I talked to him. He knows he's responsible for what has happened to us. He acts sometimes out of guilt or because he doesn't want to hurt people. He says that is why he married me. I said we worked well together why don't we get married. He didn't really want to, but agreed. <P>(Actually asked me to get married after I had been gone a week at a school camp and during time our dog had died. I came back and he said I love you and I want us to get married.--he recently has gotten mad when I reminded him of this because I revealed that during the trip I had decided that I should end our relationship because I didn't think he loved me.)<P>He is adament about leaving. He says he cannot fix himself. He cannot be himself in marriage. He says that I have a persona...I am an individual, but that he leans on whomever he's around.<P>I asked if he left and he ever felt that he had made a mistake, if I left it open for him to come back, would he consider it. He said "you want me to answer in the affirmative." I said, "Of, course" He said he couldn't believe he would change his mind.<P>Financially, we may have to remain in this pattern through the summer. I know I need to plan B, but we can't afford to set up two households. (Pray that a consulting job comes through and this problem will be solved )<P>Any ideas on what to say to him? What to do for myself?<BR>I cried for a minute, but I actually feel resigned to the inevitable. He's gonna have to leave and I have to pray God shows him the way back home.<P>------------------<BR>Cali<P>"Humble yourselves, therefore,under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." <P>1 Peter 5:6-7

Cali- my H also re-wrote our martial history for the worse. He claimed he only married me because he was 26 already- yet we had dated steadily for 2yrs and were quite in love. He told the counselor we were not 'emotionally bonded' to each other which I totally disagree with. That he had been unhappy for years and I wouldnt change. That I ALSO disagree was true. This is all part of their rationalizing and justifying their A to themselves in their heads. Dont take that kind of talk to seriously. Even my counselor told me that. Its amazing what goes on in their minds it really is. lifeismessy